Showing posts with label hot. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hot. Show all posts

Friday, July 5, 2013

Vampiress XXX Review: Babes That Bite "Good Girls Gone Bad" 1st Bite


The Gist:  5 Random scenes of women with vampire fangs doing pornographic things.

Clarification:  This DVD is marketed as being inspired by such vampire franchises as True Blood, Twilight and The Vampire Diaries leading you to believe that this is anything but what it actually is.  There is no plot whatsoever other than Robert Tarentino in the films opening telling you that the girls in the scenes are "Daywalkers" that he found out about that are driven by sex.  They do attempt to play out scenarios in a couple of scenes but no more than you would see in any other bargain bin adult film.

Selling PointThe hottest girl of the "This Isn't Twilight" adult movie franchise to not get fangs has them in this film!

Female Vampire Factor:  As mentioned this is nothing more than lesbian/fang fetish porn so there is nothing but female vampires with all but one showing fangs.  The films stars Lana Violet, Lexi Diamond, Jenna Marandino, Ginger Babi, Dahlia Denyle, Ruby Knox and Titiana Kush.

Scene Rundown

Scene 1: Ruby Knox and  Tatiana Kush have lesbian vampire sex.

Babes That Bite brought to you by PornHub

Scene 2: Lana Violet masterbates (no fangs)

 Scene 3: Dahlia Denyle punishes Ginger Babi for having sex with humans

Scene 4: Tatiana Kush masterbates

Scene 5:  Jenna Marandino bites and turns Lexi Diamond after lesbian sex

The website that was once associated with this would be series is no longer in existence so a sequel doesn't seem likely.  If you're into vampire drama such as True Blood or The Vampire Diaries but like porn as well I would definitely tell you to check out Dark Angels or Lust Bite and avoid this one but if you just like seeing nakedness and lesbianism and also just happen to have a vamp fetish then you'll get more than your money's worth from this film (especially considering it's less than $15).  For that I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 4 out of 5


Thursday, February 28, 2013

Top 10 Sexiest Black Female Vampires of All Time


 It's pretty hard to believe that in the years I've been doing this blog I have never once ranked a top ten list of any type.  Part of the reason is that there are so many of them out there from the peak of the "Twilight" era.  Most of them list "all time" but only list vamps of the past decade or two which is pretty annoying for someone like me who's seen so many films in this genre.  Others just go with the cliche's (the better your film the higher you are on their list).  While I do plan on doing a full all inclusive list one day I figured the best time to start my first one would be a list that seemingly no one else has ever done before so what better way to say goodbye to the USA's month of black history than to single out the one group that many don't even know exist (yes, I've gotten many legitimate responses asking if there are any) The sexy black female vampire.

Now my criteria is pretty simple and every girl has to rank high in both to make it.  The first criteria is hotness of the actress.  The second criteria is the sexiness of the vampire character itself.  It is not enough for a hot actress to put on fangs and call it a day.  For example by this criteria Kate Beckinsale as Selene in Underworld probably doesn't make a top 10 sexy vampiresses of all times list as the character is purposely not trying to be sexy in that series (She would probably crack the top 10 if the list was just on vampire actresses though).

And without any further adieu lets start with #10.

#10 Cleo in "Vampz"
This was the one position that I had the most trouble figuring out.  Mostly because there were two women in this film that could have easily taken the spot.  Literally its the above scene in which she gets a mouth full of cross when she attempts to give a priest a blowjob (specifically what she's wearing) that gave her the nod over Playboy Playmate Serria Tawan (very top pick of blog).   

#9 Pauline Peart in "Satanic Rites of Dracula"
A nameless vamp but she has the significance of being the first black vampire to appear in a Dracula film and he picked a good one.  That would make her like the "Jackie Robinson" of Dracula's brides. 

#8 Gabriella Garza in "Port Charles"
 Gabby started out as a good girl.  She was adopted by a nice catholic hispanic family (hence the last name "Garza"), had a great job as a nurse and a fiance who was head over heels in love with her.  That is until she met Calib the vampire.  After that she hit on anything with two legs if it meant sinking her teeth into their neck.

 #7 Vampira in "Vampira/Old Dracula"
She wasn't always black and we don't know much about her before she was but what we do know is she is the precursor to the "Girls Gone Wild" party chick when she is awakened in her new ethnicity. 

#6 Arianna in "Bram Stokers Way of the Vampire"
While in many cases she comes off pretty bossy you can't ignore that she gets very sexual when it comes to blood drinking.  She turns a prostitute because she thought the girl was hot, bites a girl because guys were calling her a lesbian, kills a monk by biting him in his private sector and we finish it all off with her in her leather cheerleader/dominatrix gear.  She's pretty close to being a vampire dream girl.

#5 Tara Thornton in "True Blood"
The way Season 5 of the HBO vampire series started out she probably wouldn't have cracked a top 15.  The way it ended (and the way the previews of Season 6 ellude to) she is easily top 5 as she's now a hot lesbian vampire stripper.  Soon enough her screen time will consist of mostly vampire lesbian sex.

#4 Lillith in "Countess Dracula's Orgy of Blood"
Lillith is the sexy stripper turned female plaything of busty blonde vampire Diana in the low budget 2004 "B" movie. Similar to Shelly Rio's Vegas Vampires character her only job was to look hot.  The thing that puts her this high on the list is the fact that she does it mostly in lingerie and her boss is a hot lesbian vampire.    


 #3 Rachel in "Vampire's Kiss"
Was she real or a figment of his warped imagination is the question this 1988 film asked.  Rachel had a tendency to show up in the middle of the night for the sole purpose of raping and draining Nicolas Cage till he went nuts (or maybe he was nuts first).  She was really jealous but looking the way she did most guys wouldn't give her much of a reason to show her jealous side.

#2 Vanessa in "Blade"
 Vanessa is better known as Blades milfy mom.  The first time we see her we aren't that sure who the hot black girl in her PJ's rubbing all over Deacon Frost is but all becomes clear (quite literally) during the Blade torture scene when mom comes to visit.  Even though she's talking to her son she's very seductive.  Sadly she doesn't make it passed that scene but she definitely made a lasting impression.  

and the #1 hottest black female vampire of all time is.........

#1 Akasha in "Queen of the Damned"
She is probably easily one of the top 5 female vampires of all time of any ethnicity so it is a no brainer to put her at #1 in this list.  Her voice, the way she walked and her domineering personality just scream sexy (also it didn't hurt that she was constantly half naked either).  On top of that, one look into her bright green vampiric eyes and hypnosis or not, running doesn't seem like the best option.  Let's face it, she was so hot that she turned a gay vampire straight and we all know Lestat was really, really gay.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The Sexy Female Vamps of "Sanctuary"




Sanctuary is a Canadian television series which has aired on Syfy since 2008.  The show follows the story of Dr Hellen Magnus (Amanda Tapping) who runs a Sanctuary for beings with extraordinary powers called "Abnormals".  Most episodes of the series has her along with her staff hunting down the more dangerous "abnormals" which are normally you standard run of the mill horror creatures.  A big part of the folklore of the show revolves around vampires (with vampire blood making Dr. Magnus immortal) though in the universe of Sanctuary the vampire race is pretty much extinct.  Here are some of the exceptions of the fairer sex.

Ashley Magnus (Emilie Ullerup: Season 2, Episode 1 "End of Knights")
Ashley is the monster hunting daughter of Dr. Magnus.  In the premier of the second season she is given vampire blood and transformed into a vampire/transporter hybrid along with 5 others.  This results in her becoming evil and turning on the members of the Sanctuary including her mother.  Eventually she comes too long enough to kill herself along with the last hybrid in order to save her mother.  What a shame.













Meghan Ory (Laura: Season 2, Episode 10 "Sleepers")
 A vampire beauties fan favorite after the blogs on "Supernatural" and "Vampire High" Ory this time around plays a young drug addict who gets sent to a rehab facility in Mexico which promises to take only a week to clean you up.  The catch is that the facility is run by Nikola Tesla who happens to be the last vampire in existence and the treatment used at the facility is an altered form of his blood.  All is fine with the treatment until its found out that upon the death of those who get the treatment they come back as vampires (starting with Laura's boyfriend who gets in a fatal car accident).  Once the privileged young drug addicts find out what they've become they embrace it and attempt to bring the vampire race back. Ironically it would be Tesla himself who puts an end to it by providing a cure which he accidentally gets himself as well.






Adrienne Carter (Season 2, Episode 10 "Sleepers")
Another one of the spoiled brat drug addicts from the episode "Sleepers". She just kind of hangs out in the background while all the cool kids talk but is good for several fang shots throughout the episode.















Aliyah O'Brian (Afina: Season 3, Episode 16 "Awakening")
In this episode Dr. Magnus along with now former vampire Nikola Tesla stumble on her tomb on an expedition.  As they explore the inside a booby trap impales Tesla who is now in danger of bleeding to death.  With his final wish he asks for Hellen to read to him the characters on the wall of the tomb but in doing so she ends up unlocking a hidden door which housed Afina's body encased in crystal.  She ends up drilling a hole in the crystal and extracting her blood to give to him turning him back into a vampire but due to the hole, the crystal ends up shattering and Afina comes back to life.  Much to the dismay of Tesla the only other vampire on the planet is a total bitch who wants to enslave everyone resulting in Tesla and Magnus having to work together to stop her.  Afina had a lot of lesbian tendencies (lots of lightweight hitting on Hellen) but the real star of the episode was her cleavage.  I would have LOVED for them...I mean her to become a regular character.

 

Unfortunately it doesn't seem like vampires will be apart of the shows future but I will continue to hold out hope that Afina is truly not dead.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

The many faces of Lilly Munster

Yvonne De Carlo as the original Lily Munster
 During the "Golden age" of television, sitcoms about gothic families were all the rage (I guess comparable to the vampire drama's of today).  While the Adams Family were the original gothic sitcom family, CBS had their own idea which went just a tad farther making the family actual monsters with "The Munsters".

The Munsters were a working class family which consisted of a Frankenstein monster for a father, werewolf for a son a "normal" niece (who they thought was weird) with the mom and grandfather being vampires.  The last line is the key as Lily Munster was an icon when it came to female vampires for a long time (and is a very popular Halloween costume even today.

Yvonne De Carlo
 From 1964 to 1966 and again in 1981 Lily was played by uber classic Canadian hottie De Carlo.  It was almost a shame that her looks were completely hidden under all that makeup but since the original series was in black and white, it was almost not noticeable.  Outside of the whole "being a vampire" thing, Lily is your typical sitcom housewife. Normally the voice of reason who solves everyone's problems.  Occasionally episodes would be based on her getting a job but those were all short lived.









Lee Meriwether
From 1988 to 1991 the role was taken over by former "Catwoman" Meriwether on the series "The Munsters Today".  In this version the family is awoken in 1988 after being put to sleep in 1966 (the final year the original show aired) by one of Grandpa's machines which was only supposed to put them to sleep for thirty minutes.  The premise was the families struggle to adapt to life in the late 1980's.










Veronica Hamel
Hamel would take the role in the 1995 film "Here Come the Munsters" which acts as a reboot prequel as opposed to a continuation of the original series like "The Munsters Today" was.  The film follows the families original journey from Transylvania to America explaining that the original trip revolved around finding the whereabouts of Marlyn's father Norman who went missing.












 Ann Magnuson
In 1996 the role would go to Magnuson in the made for TV movie  "The Munsters' Scary Little Christmas".  In this film the family must come together to save Christmas when Santa is accidentally brought to their home and transformed into a fruitcake by Grandpa. 














"Mockingbird Lane"
In 2012 NBC green lit a rebooting of the Munsters franchise called "Mockingbird Lane".  In a similar manor to where Dark Shadows which originated as a TV drama became a film comedy. The Munsters as well will be going through a genre change as it will be a 1 hour drama.  More than likely that means the family will be dropping their Universal monster movie looks in favor of a more darker, modern horror style look similar to what you'd see on True Blood.  From the sounds of the pilot episode which is rumored to be about Eddie Munsters struggles as his werewolf powers begin to appear, the show will pretty much follow a similar format as the ill fated ABC 2010 summer drama "The Gates" which featured similar plots with similar monsters but them all being in different households in a gated community and not the same family like the Munsters will.

Originally Mariana Klaveno ("Lorena" from True Blood) was scheduled to play Lilly but due to a scheduling conflict she had to drop out.    Recently a new Lily was cast.

Portia De Rossi
That's right, the sexy Aussie actress who is the current "Mrs Ellen Degenerous" will be going dark for the role of Lily Munster in "Mockingbird Lane".  While fans of the original series aren't fond of the idea in changing the shows genre, I personally can't wait to see the finished product as I was a fan of the show "The Gates" and see this as an opportunity to keep that idea going.  Imagine a dramatic story in which Lily the vampire housewife has to deal with her urges to feed on her neighbors.  Let's hope that NBC makes it happen.


Where to Watch   


 


Thursday, April 12, 2012

Vampiress Music Video: Stevie Nicks "Moonlight (A Vampires Dream)"

Stevie Nicks
Moonlight (A Vampires Dream)
In Your Dreams
produced in 2011

Ms Nicks of Fleetwood Mac fame is apparently a big Twilight fan.  There's nothing strange about that as MANY women are (even if she is old enough to be their mothers).  This video is very much inspired by the Twilight series and it's the first thing you think of when you look at the filming style of it.   The one major difference between this video and the actual film series Twilight is that the vampires in this video have not "Evolved without fangs" as the twilight vamps have.  With that being said the main reason to watch this video is for the HOT violin player played by Vampire Diaries star Torrey Devito

Torrey  Devito as the violin playing vampiress
This is great as you can't see her as a vampire on that show (yet). Basically all she does in the video is spin around with a violin but honestly that's all she needs to do.  Her beauty in this sticks out like soar thumb and it makes me wish that the producers of this video had a hand in the actual twilight saga itself.  This video shows if anything what one or two changes to that movie could have done (darker tone + fangs = a winner). 


Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Vampiress Music Video: ZZ Top's "Breakaway"

ZZ Top
Breakaway
Antenna
produced in 1994

If there was ever a female actress that was born to play a vampire it was Fairuza Balk.  Who wasn't scared to death yet slightly turned on at the same time while watching her as a gothic evil school girl witch in "The Craft".  Even in The Waterboy you look at her like "She's so flipping hot but looks like she'd murder me and eat me" as Bobby Boucher's well meaning girlfriend. It Could be the large (yet sexy) mouth and almost constant crazed look in her eyes?  Who Knows?

Fairuza Balk
    Anyway in this 1994 mini series...sorry, I mean music video (It's close to seven minutes long) Balk plays a hot gothic looking girl (So I guess she's playing herself right?) who gets hit on by a guy while riding in the passenger seat of her friends car.   The two hit it off and start dating but you notice that she has tons of weird quirks on each date like not eating regular food and sensitivity to sunlight.  Eventually it looks like the guy in the video might get some but gets a strange feeling about the situation and leaves (it could be the creepy guy that's hanging around but that's just my guess).  Balk not one to be turned down apparently fly's over to the guy "Forever Knight" style in downright the hottest one piece vampire/dominatrix getup since Transylvania 6-5000, handcuffs him to a fence and rapes him (WOW!).  After that she takes him back to her place lays him down on her bed shows her fangs and starts drinking from him which he seems to enjoy.  

After that you wake up and remember that was just a music video completely unable to remember what life was like before you saw it.  Forget what I said before,  If there ever was a girl who you were almost positive REALLY WAS a vampire in real life.  It would be Fairuza Balk.  Enjoy the video.


Monday, April 2, 2012

Vampiress XXX Review: This Ain't Dracula XXX

http://vod.hustlervod.com/dispatcher/movieDetail?movieId=156766&theaterId=31682

Vampire Cast

The Gist: Jonathon Harker heads to eastern Europe to finish a real estate deal and ends up neck deep vampires.

Clarification:  This is a basically a very accurate adult version of the 1992 Francis Ford Coppola film "Bram Stokers Dracula".  As weird as it may sound though, the rated R film was a bit more sexual than this version.
  
Selling Point:  The Brides of Dracula played by Bridgette B, Jennifer Dark and Brandy Aniston (Below right)

Female Vampire Factor: This Film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5.  As I stated above, the 1992 Rated R film was a lot more hot and steamy than this one but it's a porn so expectations shouldn't be that high in the first place.  The main thing to remember is almost every female in the film is or becomes a vampire

Publicity Stills

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Vampiress XXX Review: Dark Angels 2: Bloodline


Vampire Cast

The Gist:  The number of vampires is dwindling as the remaining ones left have tainted blood preventing them from creating more.  In order to change that they target a young woman (Sunny Lane) who's blood is capable of creating more.

Clarification:  Anyone the vampires bite turn to zombies so it is more of a zombie movie than anything else.  This is a sequal to the original only in that Jack Cross (the police detective character in the first one) returns as it is explained that he quits the police force to become a full time vampire slayer.  Evan Stone (of course) also returns but as "the twin brother" of the un named vamp he played in the first that was staked by Cross.  

Selling Point: Monica Mayhems vampire dominatrix outfit (below).

Female Vampire Factor:  This film gets a Vampire Beauty rating of 2 out of 5.  Remember every positive I said about the original (if not you can read my review HERE).  Well, get rid of all of that and what's left is this movie.  The two female vamps that are in it barely get screen time and the beginning of the film takes way too much time following a back story that has no baring on the main story other than having an excuse for a couple of sex scenes (as this movie has much more plot than it does sex barely qualifying it as a porn).  My suggestion is to only get this film if it's in a set with the original.  Only then is it worth the price. 

Publicity Stills   
Monica Mayhem


 Kristin Price



Vampiress XXX Review: TRU "A XXX Parody"


Vampire Cast

The Gist: Lafeyette; the flamboyant gay cook at Merlotts has been found dead in the back of a car and it's up to Sookie and Bill to find out who killed him.

Clarification: Unlike Devil's Films Twilight Parody's, New Sensation actually puts A LOT of time and effort into their adult films to make them actually watchable.  To this day the Scooby Doo XXX parody is one of the most entertaining adult films I've ever seen. Anyway, back to the point at hand, this is an actual movie in the truest sense of the word (no pun intended) and not a random set of scenes like the aforementioned Twilight parody's.   A good majority of the plot has been ripped from bits and pieces of the 1st two seasons of the actual "True Blood" HBO series but with their own (often comedic) spin on it.

Selling Point:  Ashlynn Brooke did a great job writing this and is MUCH hotter than Anna Paquin as Sookie

Female Vampire Factor: Unfortunately as far as female vamps go they are sorely lacking so it gets a Vampire Beauty rating of 1 out of 5. The only female vampire character that was carried over from the series was Pam who is played by Shay Sights (below). 

http://nsgalleries.com/hosted2/pp/photo/vc/Tru/03/index.php?nats=MTIwODExLjEuMTMzLjExOS4wLjMwOTAuMC4wLjA


 There are some female vampire extras here and there but most of them can be seen in the trailer HERE.
Basically if you're picking up this movie just to see hot fanged women this is not the film for you BUT if you're looking for an entertaining adult film parody I highly recommend it otherwise.  


Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Vampiress XXX Review: Les Vampyres 2: The Resurrection


 Vampire Cast
Wendi Knight


The Gist:  After the events of the 1st film.  Veronika's first lover uses her new lovers former beau (who is now a vampire) to get revenge on her.

Clarification:  This movie literally takes place moments after the end of the 1st film (IE if you didn't see the first film the plot would be hard to follow) as your 1st dialogue is a discussion of the painful ending of the last film.  That's pretty much it as far as plot goes as the rest of the film is pretty much random vampire sex.  Unlike the first film which was more substance, this was more sex.

Selling Point:  Having a legit eastern European female (Denise) playing a vampire (if only she had the cloak).

Female Vampire Factor:  This film gets a Vampire Beauty rating of 4 out of 5.  Like the first film it is 100% about the chicks with fangs.  The only real downside is that they use a lot of footage from the first movie as filler in this movie but there is enough new stuff to make it worth watching.

Publicity Stills



Screen Captures