Vampiress Review: "10 Minutes to Midnight"

 

The Gist: On her last day before a forced retirement a late night radio DJ is bitten by an animal and struggles to maintain her humanity and sanity. 

Female Vampire Factor:  The main character of the film is Amy Marlowe (Caroline Williams)

She shows up for work with a bite mark on her neck that progressively gets worse. After an argument with the young girl who is to replace her she bites the girl in the hand and from there pretty much loses it the rest of the film.  Not being able to understand what's real and what's a hallucination. 

Throughout the movie one of the main subjects of her hallucinations is Sienna (Nicole Kang), the girl pegged to replace her at the radio station. 

Even though she is the one who bit Sienna.  Amy sees her throughout the film as the monster. Including seeing her fang out and feeding on the station manager and her producer. 

Eventually Amy confronts Sienna and drives a wooden stake through her heart taking her out.

By the latter part of the film without Sienna to project as the monster Amy herself begins to show fangs and she eventually feeds on her producer. 

Final Opinion: It's a decent horror movie but moves way too slow for my taste.   Similar to the films Vampire's Kiss and Lilliths Awakening the main driving force of the film is the idea of manipulating the audience into trying to figure out what during the film is actually happening and what is all in her head with the movie never actually clearing up what was what.  The last scene shows the day manager showing up to the studio the next day and finding all the bodies and being attacked by a bat so you never find out whether there actually were vampires or whether she just went psychotic and imagined the whole thing while killing everyone she worked with.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.  Most fangs scenes are very dark and the last act of the film just kind of throws everything that happened before it away but otherwise pretty decent. 

Vampiress Review: "Blood Taste"

Blood taste is a short film about a woman who stalks a man at a park who has a nose bleed.  Next thing we see is he is tied up at her home and it is revealed that the woman is a vampire.

Even though she has a glass of blood right in front of him she obviously prefers it right out of the vain because she gets up and goes right for his neck.

BLOOD TASTE | Short Film from Jad Roux on Vimeo.

Vampiress Review: Sorority Vampire Sisters

The Gist: People at a college campus are being murdered at a high rate and a girl believes that her new roommate is responsible.

Clarification: A girl named Sarah thinks her roommate is a vampire because she dresses in black and goes on a lot of dates and takes night classes.  Also she is always at the scene of the murders (but Sarah wouldn't know this).

Selling Point:  An ok attempt at a low budget horror film. It's very low budget and amateurish looking and it does throw things in randomly at times but since it's less than an hour long that can be forgiven.

Female Vampire Factor: Sarah's ends up being proven right that a vampire is committing the murders but she is wrong about who's committing them.  It ends up being some girls who are sporadically seen in the film as bystanders being interviewed about the murders

The above scene is the big reveal and the only real vampiric point other than Sarah having a dream that her roommate was a vampire.

Sarah's roommate ended up being a vampire hunter and then the movie kind of goes off the rails after that.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.  The reveal would have been much more enjoyable had they implemented a first person view for it instead of having the camera behind the intended victim. 

Vampiress XXX Review: "Vampires White Training"

The Gist: When a vampire kidnaps a schoolgirl to make her his bride it's up to a female vampire superhero to save her.

Clarification:  This film falls into the category of cosplay porn.  While it is in the vampire genre the main premise is more along the lines of superhero vs villain and rape/molestation more than horror.  The film only really has a few scenes and those mostly consists of one of the female protagonists being tied up and molested by the male villain.

Selling Point: It does have a couple of lesbian scenes in it including one really really weird lesbian molestation scene consisting of armpit licking.

Female Vampire Factor: The lead hero is played by the ultra sexy Ayaka Tomoda.

 The schoolgirls she is attempting to save (May Katsuragi) does get turned later in the film and is used as a trap to get her captured.

 

 As most japanese fetish style films go it is straight and to the point.  You're in it for something specific and it gives it to you without trying to pretend it's something that it's not.  If you want women with fangs in costumes playing out those costume fantasies without over or under productions you will get what you want here.  The sex scenes are a bit lengthy but that's good or bad depending on your individual tastes but fangs are always out and costumes stay at least partially on so the fetish is always adhered too.   It gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5.

Vampiress XXX Review: "Vampyre Lovers"

The Gist: Seven scenes of vampire lesbianism.

Clarification:  Nothing too complicated here.  Just British lesbians having sex with at least one being a vampire.  Storyline and dialogue is limited to whatever setup the scene needs for the sex to start.

Selling Point: A lot of fang flashing and hissing (though the scenes are pretty cheesy).

Female Vampire Factor: It's lesbian porn so Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5.  Every scene ends with a bite so you really can't ask for much more.

Scene 1: Vampire Lesbians Tammie Lee and Kaia Kane have sex and bite each other

Scene 2: Three way between Vampires twins Kat and Kit Lee and victim Stacey Saran

Scene 3: Vampire Tanya Cox attacks victim Cindy Behr at church

Scene 4: Vampire Kerry Louise and victim Farrah Fox

Scene 5: Vampire Sharon Pink attacks bartender Westy

Scene 6: Vampire Kaia Kane captures doll Paige Ashley

Scene 7: Vampire Kaia Kane attacks pedestrian Jasmine Webb

This is a great fang fetish and lesbian sex film worth an edition to your adult video collection.

Vampyre Lovers by Bluebird Films

Vampiress Review: "Sex With a Vampire"

The Gist: A vampire falls in love with a women who recently broke up with her boyfriend

Clarification:  This is a film from the Showtime Networks "After Hours" catalog.  Basically that means it's exactly the same as every other softcore porn that airs on the network meaning the actual movie is about 20 minutes long with the remaining hour being sex scenes.  As a matter of fact the ending of the film is basically just told to you in a conversation between the main characters just so they could fit in one last sex scene.  In other words, don't expect much if you attempt to watch this movie

Female Vampire Factor:

Alektra Blue (Ariel)

As the story goes Ariel is the vampire who turned the main vamp of the film and spends most of it protecting him while he lusts after a human.  We eventually find out she herself is in love with him and hoped that he would feel the same way but took it surprisingly well when he doesn't.    In other words, she would have been a great antagonist but since this was written and produced by a porn star there wasn't too much thought put into the plot and it really doesn't go anywhere. 

On the bright side she does have fangs thankfully

Honestly this film is sub par as far as erotic vampire films go.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.  If you're in the mode for a similar style of film done with a lot more entertainment value I highly recommend the "Embrace the Darkness" series instead. 

Vampiress Review: "Fright Night 2: New Blood"

The Gist:  A young college student fears for his life when he finds out his art professor is really Countess Elizabeth Bathory who is now an immortal vampire.

Clarification: So first things first....As I've delved into in the many preview blogs I've done for this movie basically Collin Farrell NEVER HAPPENED. In fact, this isn't a sequel at all it's the reboot we should have gotten back in 2011 (if you can't tell I liked this movie so much more).  If you were a fan of the original film (and/or it's 1988 sequel) you will absolutely LOVE this film as it seems they put a lot more effort into recreating the feel of those films as opposed to the 2011 film which seemed to be more about creating a new version of an old movie (the same complaint I had with the remake of "Total Recall" also starring Collin Farrell).   What I mean by that is though the film takes place in a modern era, the characters are almost exactly what they were in the 85 film, Charlie is the nosy kid that doesn't know when to mind his business. Amy is a prude and evil Ed is just as obnoxious as he was in the 85 film which makes this all the more enjoyable.  Peter Vincent is back to being a television show host (as opposed to the corny Vegas magician they made him into in the 2011 film) but this time to modernize it a bit the show he hosts "Fright Night" is a ghost hunting program.

Selling Point:  As I said, they did it right this time

Female Vampire Factor:  One of the biggest questions regarding this remake was how the character of Gerri Dandridge (Jaime Murray) would be handled.  Basically she's a hybrid of the 85 Jerry and the 88 Regine Dandridge characters.  While the film pretty much follows the plot of the 85 film to a tee just changing the location to Romania you do get a number of scenes of Gerri teasing Charlie while seducing her victims that reminded me a lot of Julie Carmen's character in the original Fright Night 2.

Fact of the matter is, she makes getting murdered by a vampire seem downright fun.  It looked like she was practically raping Evil Ed in the scene where she catches up with him.

If there was one disappointing thing about this film (and pretty much this is the only disappoint thing) it's the handling of Amy (Sacha Parkinson) turning into a vampire.  Unlike the other two versions of this story, there is no gradual turn and no seduction involved.  As a matter of fact, she's kind of like an alligator in a pool of blood that Charlie has to wrestle with.

The thing is with this film that's more of a nit pick than anything as there is more than enough seduction with Gerri being the hot teacher who "fraternizes" with her students and all.  Anyway, this film while not the greatest female vampire film of all time is light years better than the last attempt to I will give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5.  These types of films don't come around too often so enjoy it.

Vampiress Review: "Metamorphosis"

The Gist:  An aspiring writer on a journey to Europe to research The blood countess Elizabeth Bathory with his two friends meets an attractive yet mysterious woman who turns out to be the 500 year old daughter of the countess who is now a vampire.

Clarification:  Once you see this film you realize that the film was probably written with the ending first.  Without giving too much away it's very much "Sixth Sense" like with a major unexpected plot twist.  The unfortunate part of this is that if you eliminate the characters of Kim and J.J. aka the best friends of main character Keith, this would be an outstanding film but with every step forward the main plot takes, it takes 8 steps back with the horrid attempt at comic relief which was those characters.  

Selling Point:  The film messes with the viewer using tactics similar to many horror video games that at first look seem like filming errors before it's later explained were parts of the plot itself.  

Female Vampire Factor: The main reason to see the film is "Elizabeth" played by the super hot Irena A Hoffman (Transylmania).

 As mentioned above Elizabeth is the daughter of the Countess Elizabeth Bathory who was taken away from her mother once she was locked up for the murders of the virgins whose blood she bathed in.  Once she found out her mothers fate she cursed the church resulting in her being punished to roam the Earth eternally as a vampire.  The thing is, as this film progresses life as a vampire doesn't seem that bad as they don't have any of the negatives that they deal with in other movies, shows, books etc (she can manipulate time and space and function in the daylight).  Also with one exception (below) she has no problem being around people and feeds mostly off of animal blood.

Outside of Elizabeth the only other female vamp scene in the film comes after annoying character #2 aka "Kim" (Jennifer Higham) gets captured and turned by the evil vampire "Constantine Thorzo" (Christopher Lambert of Highlander and Mortal Kombat fame). The one time in this entire film you actually WANT to see her and she's killed almost immediately.

 So in the end we have one hot female vampire who lusts after a human for love (and sex) and a very intriguing story but on the other hand several extremely annoying side characters who take away all the good the main plot gives you.  Still, Elizabeth is super sexy so I give this film a Vampire Beauty rating of 4 out of 5. 

Top 10 all time Vampire MILF's

This week the U.S. celebrated mothers day and in honor of that I've decided to put together a top ten list of who I believe are the hottest vampire mom's in television and cinema. 

#10 Quixtla (From Dusk Till Dawn: Hangman's Daughter)

The mother of Santanico Pandamoniam, not only was she sexy but she taught her daughter to drink blood, give a great strip routine and become one of the greatest and sexiest vampire strippers in Mexico.  Not bad at all for the limited time they had together.  

#9  Isobel Flemming (The Vampire Diaries)

The mother of show protagonist Elena Gilbert who was once thought to have died was herself outed in the shows second season as not only alive as a full functioning vampire but was working under the spell of a another vampire who looked exactly like her daughter. 

#8 Elizabeth Barrington (Port Charles)

The mother of the late Allison Barrington (who was murdered by Caleb the vampire during General Hospitals recent revival of the Port Charles vampire storyline) was a lonely neglected filthy rich housewife who was looking for love after the disappearance of her husband.  She thought she found that in rocker "Steve Clay" (an alias of evil vampire Caleb).  Little did she know he was only using her to make his actual love interest Livvie jealous.  Unfortunately that means leaving a lonely horny middle aged house wife vampire around to seduce and turn any guy who might come close to looking at her. 

#7 Countess Clarimonde (The Vampire Happening)

This one actually counts as a Great Grand Milf (which is her relation to the films main protagonist) but none the less when a great grandmother looks like this showing that much cleavage and sneaks out at night to seduce and suck on much younger men does it really matter how old she is?

#6 Claire Radcliffe (The Gates)

 She has a lot of things in common with your stereotypical 1950's TV housewives.  She walks around a lot in house dresses and heels,  she's a stay at home mom, she packs her daughters lunch everyday.  She would fit right in with June Cleaver if it wasn't for the whole "sneaking out after dark to eat people" problem she had in the short lived night time drama.

#5 Dracula's Brides (Van Helsing)

 The three sexy women did more than grocery shop for Dracula in the local village.  They were the mothers to his thousands of vampire bat creature offspring that Dracula spent the majority of the film attempting to produce and bring to undeath.

#4 Bella Swan (Twilight)

In the final scenes of the 4th installment of the vampire genre killing franchise "Breaking Dawn: part 1" Bella both becomes a mom, and a vampire in that order.  Despite my dislike of the film franchise I have to admit that vampire Bella is pretty hot.

#3 Magda Westenra (Young Dracula)

The mother of young Vlad and Ingrid on the CBBC teen television series is pretty much non existent in their lives but the few times she is around the one thing that's perfectly clear is that every guy within a 10 mile radius has their attention on her and only her.

  

#2 Vanessa (Blade)

Blades entire existence and goals in life were based on the belief that his mom had been raped and killed by a vampire.  All that came crashing down around him as he finds out toward the end of the first film of the franchise that his mom is alive (well undead), super hot and was a very WILLING participant in his conceiving.

#1 Selene (Underworld)

Selene became a mother in the 4th film of the Underworld franchise "Awakening" when she conceived her daughter "Eve" with her Vampire/Werewolf Hybrid boyfriend Micheal shortly after the events of the 2nd film "Evolution".