Vampiress Review: "Joe Vampire"

The Gist:  A vampire must save a women he's fallen for after a group of vampires take her in revenge.

Clarification:  This is a terribly put together movie that actually wouldn't be that bad with a bit of tweaking.  The biggest problem being that the bulk of the film is a bunch of backstory that in the grand scheme of the film is not important to the plot whatsoever.  Then when you finally get to where things start to actually make sense and happen the movie ends.  This basically means only the last 10 minutes is entertaining and there is no closure whatsoever.

The film starts with explaining how Joe becomes a vampire during the civil war.  This never gets visited again nor effects the movie after that.   Then we have Joe going to a bar and meeting a girl named Melissa who blows him off till he has to save her from a rapist.  This leads to an awkward scene where he explains he's a vampire and she falls for him just based on that and asks him to turn her.  A guy named Drake later shows up and you get told they have some type of past together which gets barely explained as them belonging to some type of vampire society lead by Drakes father Kristoff.  They (Drake and Krisoff) end up kidnapping Melissa and turning her. Joe shows up to save her and finds this out and..well....nothing.  Literally nothing.  Film skips to a scene where Kristoff bites some random blonde girl and roll credits.

Selling Point:  The last 10 minutes is actually pretty exciting.  That's a plus.
Female Vampire Factor:  Drake has two super hot women who follow him around (Cassey Figueroa, Brendaly Rivera).  I assume they're strippers or prostitutes that work for him as he does run a strip club but this is not explained.

 They are shown in a couple of scenes feeding on random men.

 Finally the main female love interest of Joe as mentioned above does get turned (Erin Cline).

This one scene in the films end is her only scene as a vampire where she flashes her fangs and explains that they can be together forever now.

 

If the first 55 minutes was like the last 10 this would be a great film.   I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.  It does have some vampire T&A but they are very quick scenes buried in the film.

Vampiress XXX Review: Vampire Domination: "Taking Everything He Has 2"

The Gist: A woman looking for a raise from her boss is seduced and turned by a vampire.

Clarification:  So while this film has the same name as the film that first introduced us to PrimalFetish.com it is not a sequel but instead the second film of a series.  The main thing that connects them being that the stories deal with female employees becoming vampires and attacking their bosses.  Since the original film they've done a few vampire films (and I plan to review them all) but the main thing is each deals with a different subject instead of having a continuous story.

Selling Point: Their films are always high quality when it comes to the seduction factor.

Female Vampire Factor:  The main Vampire in this film is played by Jenevieve Hexx

The woman being seduced and eventually turned in the film is Jessa Rhodes

In your first scene after being brushed off by her boss Jessa gets seduced by Jenevieve at a bar before being taken back to her place for sex and a bite.

After that Jenevieve goes back to the bar to eliminate any witnesses (the bartender). The next day Jessa heads to work late.  As she tries to explain to her boss what happened her blood lust takes over and she seduces and attacks him

Finally Jenevieve and Jessa team up together to finish Jessa's boss off.

I've yet to give one of their videos less than a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5 and I'm not going to start now.  I have no problem admitting that it's no where near what the first film was but that bar was set very high and it will be very hard to top that.  I'm just happy to see that they are putting more of these out.

Vampiress Review: "The Hand of Night"

The Gist:  An archeologist encounters a mysterious woman while on a trip to Morocco to find his colleague.

Clarification:  This isn't much of a vampire movie as much as it is a dramatic mystery.  The vampires in the film are basically ghosts more than anything as you don't really see them do anything vampiric other than they sleep in coffins.   The main protagonist of the film Paul is basically being seduced by vampire and people are thinking he's crazy because they only appear to him.

Selling Point: the main vampire is a miss universe contestant and bond girl

Female Vampire Factor:  The main vampire of the film Marissa is played by Aliza Gur.

As stated above she basically spend the bulk of the movie seducing Paul.  She does have a group of hench people and harem girls that she rules over but she is less vampire and more villainous queen in this film.

Definitely not the kind of movie you want to see if you're looking for horror.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.

Vampiress Review: "The Witches Hammer"

The Gist: A genetically created vampire assassin is sent by a secret society to assassinate other vampires.

Clarification: Not exactly an original story considering the 1998 film "Razor Blade Smile" pretty much had the same story but a rated "R" version. The way the story plays out makes this film more along the lines of "Kill Bill" in which the main assassin spends the bulk of the film picking off targets one by one than any horror film.  

Selling Point: The film has a lot of action with very little slow down.
Female Vampire Factor:  The Vampire Assassin Rebecca is played by Claudia Coulter

Unlike Razor Blade Smile where the vampire assassin does do vampiric things like seducing and feeding on humans the one in this film only shows her fangs in anger and doesn't feed on anyone and mostly gets her blood from glasses (thew there is one dream sequence with an almost bite).

There are other female vamps in the film but with the exception of one very large woman who is targeted.

The rest get very little screen time and are mostly seen in flashbacks.

 I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.  I'd definitely choose the aforementioned Razor Blade Smile if I had to chose even though this film isn't terrible.

Vampiress Review: "Habit"

The Gist:  A man meets the girl of his dreams unbeknownst to him that she is slowly killing him.

Clarification:  This is not an "in your face" vampire film at all and pretty much starts as a love story between a guy down on his luck with no self esteem and a ton of problems meeting a woman who is kind of creepy but forgivable because she was a nympho.  Problem is every time they get "close" he blacks out and wakes up alone with open wounds.  Eventually his friends start to put two and two together and warn him but at that point it's too late and the only way he can break up with her is by killing her.

Selling Point: A lot of sex scenes that shouldn't be as hot as they are considering the main characters in this film aren't exactly supermodels.

Female Vampire Factor: The main vampire of the film is Anna played by Meredith Snaider

In the film she doesn't come off as all that vampiric and is just more weird than anything.  It isn't until the main character Sam starts to understand what's going on that we get some vampire moments out of her with the first being a dream sequence which is one of the few times she shows fangs.

From there is the end of the movie where she basically attempts to rape him one last time before meeting her demise

So basically after a lot of suspense there is nothing really horror related until the final 20 minutes of the film with the rest being a lot of awkwardly hot sex scenes and flirting.  None the less the film is pretty entertaining.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.

Vampiress XXX Review: "Vampire Temptations: Corruption of the Pure"

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Vampiress Model: Britney Amber

Britney Amber is an adult film star out of California who is possibly best known for her time as one of the famous Cathouse girls of the HBO reality series based on the Moonlight Bunny Ranch brothel in Nevada.  Since that time she's made quite a name for herself in the adult film industry and even has her own web site.

Recently she's made a couple of appearances for primalfetish.com in vampire related videos.  I can honestly say while I've yet to see a video from Primal Fetish that I haven't been totally impressed with hers are easily the best ones to date.  Her huge eyes and downright primal hissing and growling during her scenes are a new standard for what a hungry vampiress should be.  Check out the clips below as well as the other Primal Fetish library of videos.

In the first video after being attacked by a vampire she turns and seduces a pizza delivery guy having her way with and eventually feeding on him.

 In the second video Britney's niece (Lolo Punzel) drops in unexpectedly and even though she fights the urge she gives in, seduces bites and turns her.

Vampiress Review: "The Vampire and the Ballerina"

The Gist: Members of a ballet troop preparing for a performance seek refuge in a castle inhabited by a vampire countess and her servant.

Clarification: Your stereotypical vampire film of that time with every cliche you can imagine.  Basically a guy and two women get lost and seek refuge at a spooky abandoned castle during a storm just to find it's inhabited by a beautiful countess and her servant.  The servant takes a liking to the women while the countess takes a liking to the guy and it's revealed that both are vampires and the servant controls the countess by allowing her to only feed on him.

Selling Point: A number of sexy dance numbers throughout the film.

Female Vampire Factor:  The countess is played by Maria Luisa Rolando

 Despite being the owner of the castle she goes down as one of the few female vampires in classic films to play the damsel in distress to the unknowing guy and actually mean it and not use it as a way to sucker the guy into a false sense of security.  Even though she is a vampire it is her servant who is the true villain of the film as he is the one who turned her and is responsible for keeping her in the lifestyle which is found out when we find out that she feeds on him in order to stay alive while he feeds on innocent humans

 This results in a lot of personal conflict for the countess as she does evil things but does so in order to stay alive as she is dependent on her servants blood to stay young and beautiful.

The only other female vampire of the film is a peasant girl who is attacked by the servent early on prior to their official introduction in the film.  The town doctor passes her affliction off as just passing out and scratching herself on plants that happen to look like a bite and that she'd be fine in a couple of weeks.  Obviously this wasn't the case and she wakes up at her own funeral.

Later that night she rises from her grave as a full fledged vampire

Unfortunately for her the only woman the countesses servant wants in his life is the countess so he comes and puts a quick end to her via a stake through the heart.

 Not a terrible movie but does give a little bit too much screen time to the ballet dancing portion of the story which slows the plot to a crawl. I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5. For a similar movie with more T&A check out "The Playgirls and the Vampire"

Vampiress XXX Review: "Sex Hex"

The Gist: Women in an office are mysteriously dying during lesbian sex and a janitor that witnesses one of the incidents contacts a bumbling vampire hunter.

Clarification: This film is Seduction Cinema level bad (with the same stars).  Basically there's a story but the story is just an excuse for softcore lesbian sex.  In between those sex scenes is ridiculously corny scenes that depend on sophomoric humor complete with poop jokes, boob jokes and anything else that would make the male main character act like a 12 year old just going through puberty.

Selling Point:  If you're into softcore girl on girl there are plenty of decent scenes.

Female Vampire Factor: The only one in the film is "Diane" played by Sabrina Faire.

Diane is a secretary for the business the film revolves around. She has the ability to manipulate womens minds to make them aroused and she seems to feed off of them psychically as they orgasm.  This along with the fact that she has no fangs does make her more of a succubus but the movie refers to her as a "new kind of vampire" while self awaringly hinting that the film makers were just too cheap to get fangs for her (they actually say this in a scene).

If you're going to watch the film definitely do it for the sex and not the story which is downright difficult to muster through.  I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.

Vampiress Review: "Southern Gothic"

The Gist: After falling for a stripper a guy must rescue her from a brood of vampires who have taken over the club she works and plans on making her their newest member.

Clarification: This is a very dark film with kind of an awkward not so realistic story that revolves around a random guy babysitting a womans daughter so that she could strip at night.  The guy and the daughter end up hitting it off very well  all the while mom is being stalked by the head of a group of vampires. When she doesn't come home one day he goes off looking for her leading to a "way too much work in order to save someone you don't really know in a situation you really didn't need to be in" plot.

Selling Point:A decent amount of horror when the film isn't being bogged down by the "Absentee step dad" plot.

Female Vampire Factor:  So in the will she or won't she category the main female of the film Starla (Nicole Duport) does end up a vampire by the films end.

other than this there isn't a lot of other female vampire action in the film other than one brunette towards the films beginning.

And a blonde stripper school girl who tries to seduce the hero of the film during his big rescue attempt.

It's an OK film which does come off pretty stereotypical if you've watched a lot of independent vampire horror films as it's one of those films that goes more for mood and shock than it does substance.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.

Vampiress XXX Review: "Vampirella Fetish Parody"

The Gist: The Evil Vampirella must find a younger body to inhabit and she chooses Supergirl as her new body donor.
Clarification:  This is a superhero and stocking lesbian fetish film starring Anastasia Pierce for people who are into comic book costumes. The acting is terrible but none the less if you ever wanted to see Vampirella rape Supergirl or Supergirl rape Wonder Woman here you go.

Selling Point: As mentioned Vampirella isn't the only super hero in the film.  It also stars Alli Rae as Supergirl (both good and evil incarnations).

  Pierce plays dual roles as she also plays Wonder Woman who is eventually captured by evil Supergirl.

Female Vampire Factor: Despite the fact that Evil Supergirl does indeed bite Wonder Woman in their molestation scene....

The only female to sport any fangs is Peirce as Vampirella

As long as you're into costumes and aren't too picky about the film being true to it's source material it's entertaining in a campy way.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.