Vampiress Review: Apostle of Dracula

The Gist: A woman wakes up on a boat with amnesia and as she explores her surroundings starts to piece together that she is a vampire caught between the vampire who turned for wanting her back and hunters wanting to save her. 

Female Vampire Factor:  The main character of the film is Lucy (Nathalie Legosles)

The film starts with her wandering around a city after leaving a boat with no memory of who she is and why she's there, she notices people following her and she gets a strange call from a guy wanting to know where she is. 

From there we get a flashback that the woman we're watching is Lucy, presumably the inspiration for Bram Strokers novel.  The people following her are Dr. Van Helsing and his assistant Seward and the guy on the phone with her is Dracula himself.  

 

From there the film is basically the story of Lucy's relationship with Dracula revealing finally that she is actually a vampire and Van Helsing is trying to save her soul with their last meeting being Lucy trying to seduce and feed on him. 

Back in present time we find that Lucy takes medication to be able to hold her vampire side back but without it she struggles.  Dracula takes her away and lure Van Helsing to them.  Once there Lucy is full on vampire and feeds on Seward as Van Helsing goes after Dracula.

 In the end Dr Van Helsing realizes that Dracula's portrait is his weakness.  He tears the portrait up which weakens Dracula enough for him to stake him through the heart.  This results in Lucy becoming Human again.  

Final Opinion: My main complaint with this film is how long it takes to get to the point.  It's not a very long film but a good portion of the film nothing really happens.  Lots of fancy camera angles and cinematography just to watch people walk or talk basically.  It isn't until about the fifty minute mark where stuff actually happens and that last 20 minutes includes some of the worst fighting scenes you'll ever see.  Despite that I give it a Vampire Beauty rating of 4 out of 5.  Lucy's fang scenes are pretty above average, all 2 of them. If the film was more about her turning and the struggles and not about her amnesia this would be quite memorable. 

Vampiress Review: "Bikini Vampire Babes"

 

The Gist: A vampiress creates a fledgling for herself and sets their sites on a bikini contest in Las Vegas all while trying to avoid the fledglings ex and a vampire hunter.

Female Vampire Factor: The film revolves around a main vampire Lizette

After a fight with a guy over treatment she ends up biting his girlfriend Bree, turning her into a vampire which she doesn't necessarily get right away as Bree isn't that smart. 

Lizette ends up going to Bree's day job at a fast food restaurant and convincing her to go to Vegas with her to take part in a bikini contest (and yes, her work uniform is a black bikini and a hat). 

The only real vampiric stuff to happen after that is when the girls car breaks down and they're taken in by a couple.  Bree's ex tracks her down to their house where she ends up biting him as well as the guy of the house.

She doesn't last long after that as Bree does end up dying out of nowhere by stepping into the sun without sunblock (the vampire hunter replaced her sunblock).

Lizette recovers from Brees death very quickly as she ends up taking the vampire hunter and biting her turning her.

The film ends with the couple getting memory wiped by Lizette. Her and the vampire hunter now a bikini vampire herself then drive off to Vegas all the while the boyfriend of Bree is then shown flashing his fangs showing that he too had been turned when Bree bit him.

 

Final Opinion:  Not much of a vampire film so I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  It is very much a throwback to the old USA up all night "girls in bikini's do regular stuff" genre that used to dominate the 1990's late night basic cable scene.  Those types of films don't translate too well in modern times since a bikini is nowhere near as provocative as it once was prior to the mass availability of internet adult media.  If you're looking for some cheap T&A the girls are in bikini's the whole film but otherwise the vampire stuff is more of a "matter of fact" thing than the main premise.

Vampiress Review: "The Kiss"

The Gist:  An awkward kid who gets bullied in school and ignored by girls has a change in luck when he recovers the body of a vampire who he nurses back to health. Little does he know she has a major jealous streak.

Female Vampire Factor:  Lourdes Reynolds plays Santa Maria.

Santa Maria is a centuries old vampire cursed to be entombed alive until her dried and withered body was found by a young man named Jeremy.

She commands Jeremy to help her recover using telepathy until her body recovers and she once again looks human.

thru the entire process Santa Maria and Jeremy develop a relationship in which the older Santa Maria is both a girlfriend and in a way a protective mother to him. 

 Wherever he goes he is protected by her which not only prevents the bullies who bothered him at school from picking on him but even makes the girls who used to ignore him now pay attention to him.

We then find out all of this was part of a greater plan.  Santa Maria tells Jeremy to invite all his new friends to a party at her home (the stereotypical creepy old mansion in the neighborhood no one thought was occupied).   As the party goes on Santa Maria is one by one killing and feeding on the party guests. 

When faced with what's happening Jeremy feels that he was being used.  Santa Maria ensures him this was not the case and her feelings for him are real and she was doing that partly for him as those kids were not nice to him.  She ends up turning him and the movie ends with her going over the rules of vampirism with him.

Side note:  Santa Maria vamps out in three phases which seem to change the more she feeds.  Stage one is normal fangs.

Stage two I would describe as sabre teeth or tusks (which we later find out are snake fangs as her kind come from the serpent and not bats).

And the final state which we see at the end of the film is straight up demon mouth (very cheap rubber that doesn't move much demon mouth at that).

Final Opinion:  One of my favorite films when I was younger was "Prom Night 3: The Last Kiss."  This film seems to take heavy influence from that one with the "evil spirit of a dead woman seducing a naive kid who seems to not have any issues with the situation because hot ghost woman is better than the no women he was getting before even though everyone around him is getting murdered" plot.   If I have any complaints its that similar to films like From Dusk Till Dawn it's a film that slowly works it's way to one giant vampire finally instead of the whole movie being about the vampires.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 4 out of 5.  I would love to see a prequel that revolved around the character of Santa Maria. More screen time for her would boost the enjoyment factor much more as she reminds me a lot of the character Violet from True Blood in that she is as sexy as she is aggressively blood thirsty which makes her a text book throw back to 1980's level horror movie vampiresses as opposed to the sympathetic ones of modern day.

Vampiress Review: Blood Ransom

The Gist: A driver for a group of mobsters devises a plan to save a stripper who works for them who he is in love with not realizing that the mobsters are vampires and the woman is in the process of becoming one herself.

Female Vampire Factor: Since it's established very early that Crystal (Anne Curtis) is a vampire it's not about if but when does it happen.

99% of the film is her fighting her urges so don't expect much vampirism.  She does not want to turn and especially does not want to kill the man she loves Jeremiah with a lot of her dialogue being her trying to convince someone to kill her.  That means the closest you get in that portion is her getting veins in her face and red eyes as she fights back her urges while the two escape the vampires chasing them looking for her.

Once she exposes to Jeremiah what she's becoming they head to a pyschic who explains how she can become human again.  Crystal doesn't believe the psychic so she proves to her what she's saying is true by exposing that she is herself a vampire and her little girl is turning like Crystal is (the idea being you have to drink a special potion within a specific time from being turned and you can go back and also to kill a vampire they must have their throat slid with a specific blade)

 (SPOILER ALERT) In the films final act both the vampire and Dan, the cop on the case who happens to be Jeremiah's best friend catch up to them.  Crystal and Jeremiah survive the vampire attack when Crystal forgoes taking the vampire cure in order to rip him to shreds but Dan then confronts them with the intent to kill Crystal.  Jeremiah steps in front of Crystal and pleads for her life and tries to shoot the cop but when that doesn't work because his gun jams gets shot three times in the chest.  This is the one and only time in the film that Crystal actually fangs out as she loses it over Jeremiahs "death" (post credits hints he didn't die and she turned him).

Final Opinion: Best way to describe this film is Innocent Blood meets John Carpenters Vampires. The ending is a bit of a let down especially since the reality was that Crystal was not in any real danger from Dan and could have handled herself (she did after all rip the head vampire to shreds just the scene before and this was just a small town cop) so this kind of falls under the Titanic "Jack didn't have to die because there was plenty of room on the wood" type argument. While it's a good movie I can only give a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5 since it's a film about a hot lady almost being a vampire more than being a vampire film.

Vampiress Review: "Evil of Dracula"

The Gist: A teacher takes a job at an all girls school that has a dark hidden secret that has resulted in girls going missing.

Clarification: The last of the Trilogy of Blood  films this is basically if you combine the Hammer films "Lust for a Vampire" with "The Satanic Rites of Dracula".  Long story short the school is run by a vampire couple and in order for people to not get suspicious the vampires take on the identities of the schools principle and his wife so you're basically rewarded for a promotion here by being murdered and having your identity stolen Joker style.  There's even a pretty graphic scene of the principals vampire wife in this film cutting the face off of one of their young victims and putting it on herself in order to take her identity and seduce the new teacher. 

Now that's some pretty hardcore stuff.

Selling Point: At the end of the day it's about vampires that like biting women in the boobs.  The storyline reason being doing that conceals the wound but let's be honest.  It's an excuse to show breasts throughout the film.

Female Vampire Factor: In true Hammer Horror fashion the movie almost immediately has our protagonist get attacked by female vampires.  In this case the principals "late" wife and a recent student that's gone missing.

Throughout the film people sneak down to the cellar where the body of the perceived dead wife of the principals coffin is where she rarely doesn't wake up and attacks her visitor.

As mentioned above she eventually removes the face of one of the school girls after she drains her and takes her identity.

This is the only time a female vamp in the film has fangs.  As seems to be a trend in these films the other girls who are bitten either disappear or kill themselves by throwing themselves off of things.

This was easily my favorite of the three films.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5.  The series definitely ended on a strong note.

Vampiress Review: "Lake of Dracula"

The Gist: A young woman who was led to believe her childhood run in with a vampire was imaginary learns otherwise when people around her begin dying in what looks like vampire attacks.

Clarification: This film is pretty much a Japanese version of the film The Brides of Dracula.  Similar story, with a very Hammer Horror feel to it. Much like that film Dracula isn't actually in this one either even though his name is in the title. In this case the vampire in the film is said to be a descendant of Dracula. 

Selling Point: A pretty good attempt at a Hammer style horror film.

Female Vampire Factor: Exactly like Brides you have two.  Unlike Brides only one fangs out  and they are never on screen at the same time.  One of the vampires early victims turns in the film but offs herself not long after by throwing herself off the rook of the hospital her body was taken too.

The only female we actually see fangs from is the main characters sister Natsuko

 This is where the inspiration from Brides is pretty obvious with her turn which almost mirrors Andree Melly's "Gina".

I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 4 out of 5.  Hard to find a vampire film from Japan during this time frame that doesn't go with the Jiangshi (blue hopping vampires) over just your standard fanged walking undead so this is very much appreciated.  The vamps in this film aren't in it very long which is the only thing holding it back.

Vampiress Review: "Blood River" (2013)

The Gist:  A group of people heading to a concert get stuck in a backwoods town and become the targets of a vampire and her supernatural daughter.

Clarification:  As described, this film is an attempt at being the "people take a wrong turn and end up in the middle of nowhere and victims of backwoods town people" type film.  Unfortunately while the premise is fine the execution is where the problem lies. 

The biggest issue I felt was that it takes the film way too long to get started.  The movie itself doesn't really get started till about an hour in with the first hour being character development that has no baring on the films plot at all.  On top of that the stuff that does need explained pretty much gets "yadda, yadda" past.  Basically the people most important to the end of the movie are the people that get the least time and explanation throughout the movie.  Basically it's the equivalent to Dracula but with most of the film being Jonathon Harkers ride to Transylvania and the rest of the story being the last few minutes.

Selling Point: If you're into cougar nudity there's at least something to look forward to. 

Female Vampire Factor: Very little.   The film establishes in the very confusing first hour through randomly placed flashbacks that Annabella was a decoy for her mother and another female vampire.

 She has supernatural powers allowing her to make people do what she says allowing her to bring victims for the vampires to feed on.

We're eventually shown that the vampires human servant got tired of working for evil and decided to turn on her vampire masters by tainting their blood (that was served to them in beer mugs) with Holy Water.

One dies, Annabella's mother survives but is charred and Annabella survives.  Assuming they were dormant for decades Annabella in present day is now looking for victims for her mother to bring her back to normal and the concert goers happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. 

Not all the stranded people get killed by Annabella and her mom in the film as a few get turned but they got the cheap fang treatment and don't last past the scene in which they're revealed to have turned.

The odd thing about this film is the best vampire shots are the still production shots during the closing credits.

I give this film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  Definitely a wasted opportunity as this story would make a great horror flick with a bit more direction.  Basically the film "Vanished" which I reviewed here does the premise of "small town with vampire residents feeding on people" much better.