Friday, October 2, 2020

Vampiress Review: "Vampires vs The Bronx"

The Gist: It's up to a group of young kids to save the Bronx when they are the only ones to realize that the new real estate developers in town are really a cover for a brood of vampires looking to take over the neighborhood.  

Female Vampire Factor:  Our one and only femme vamp is Vivian (Sarah Gadon)

Vivian spends the first part of the film as an unassuming sweet innocent overly friendly white suburban stereotype who is repeatedly shown as a fish out of water in the urban lower class burrow she's moved into, often being met with paranoia from those who encounter her that she's just there to call the police on everyone. 

All the while the vampire related happenings are pointing at a blond man as the main vampire who the kids of the neighborhood identify and try to convince everyone exists.  Obviously no one believes them.
It isn't until about one hour in that its finally revealed that the main real estate agent is just a familiar for the vampires and the blonde vampire we thought was the main vampire was just a henchman.  Everything is cleared up when the boys steal a key from the vampires layer.  Vivian then goes around the neighborhood looking for them and after realizing that the owner of the local convenience store has figured her out (he see's that she doesn't show in the stores security camera) she fangs out and drains him. 
 The boys along with one of the local girls who's the only one who believes them eventually end up at the convenience store and realize the vampires got to the owner.  When the local gang bangers and the vampires go after them they escape but run into Vivian on the way.  Not knowing she's one of them they take her back home with them to safety.
When they get back to one of the boys apartments they start to realize Vivian is acting weird.  She's making small talk with his mom in an obvious effort to be invited in. As if she can't come in unless specificity invited.  
When their holy water starts to bubble they realize she's a vampire and out her to the kids mom.  Vivian then fangs outs and admits that she isn't just any vampire, she is the commanding vampire for an expedition to take over the Bronx. She demands her key but gets doused with holy water instead. 
From this point on till she is finally staked during the final fight scene between Vivians vampires and the residents of the Bronx, sweet Vivian is long gone and she spends the rest of the movie pretty much dressed like Selene from Underworld while fanging out and killing or attempting to kill anyone on screen with her that isn't another vampire.
Final Opinion: This is Netflix's newest original film and I have to say I have no complaints here and give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5.  A movie where the main antagonist is an attractive female vampire who spends the last half of the film fanging out and biting people pretty consistently is as good as a PG horror comedy is going to get.  Not to mention the swerve of an unassuming background character for the majority of the film all of a sudden being not only the main baddy but a primarily vicious one at that was very well done.  Netflix does a very good job of giving some sex appeal to its horror comedy villains even when the main protagonists are children much like in their "Babysitter" franchise.  This definitely has high re-watchability. 


  1. So the only female? She doesn’t bite and girl, hypnotize a girl anything?!

  2. Looking forward to this one!

    FYI, the link to your other review for Tales of Found Footage links only to the cover image.

    Keep up the great work!