Showing posts with label softcore. Show all posts
Showing posts with label softcore. Show all posts

Saturday, July 15, 2023

Vampiress "After Dark" Review: Emmanuelle Through Time - Sexy Bite


The Gist: Emmanuelle along with the crew of her live stream blimp end up traveling to an alternate dimention where vampires are real.  

Clarification: In the 2000's the Emmanuelle series went from being overly romanticized softcore porn generally aimed at a female audience about a woman with an accent going to exotic places and screwing to basically whatever weird thing they could come up with since I guess she's screwed every human.  Like a naked Carmen Sandiego she'd go to different countries, then space and in this incarnation, she becomes a time traveler though in this particular film she also becomes a universe jumper.  That's right, Emmanuelle discovered the Multiverse 20+ years ago. Emmanuelle like James Bond is played by a different female every series and in this version she's played by Allie Haze in what I believe is her first role in anything. 

Imagine if they ever did one where all the different Emmanuelle's came together?   Anyway this film pretty much comes off as more of a parody of the vampire craze that had taken over media at the time as it had a ton of references to things like Twilight and Vampire Diaries.  It's definitely not meant to be taken seriously at all and can be categorized as an adult comedy. 


Female Vampire Factor:  There is technically 3.  I say technically because one of them just appears in one scene and is completely forgetton about as soon as she walks away. 


Then there is one that only exists outside the bar the crew of the Emmanuelle blimp goes to whose only appearance is in blue tint. 

And finally the female maker of the main vampires of the film who happens to look exactly like Emmanuelle thus even though she doesn't get turned we do get to see main actress Allie Haze with fangs. 


Final Thoughts:  Definitely not something you'd watch for the plot and the sex scenes aren't much to write home about as well.  Surprisingly the comedy is probably the best thing in it, specifically the character Renee.

She is one of the hosts of Emmanuelles TV network and her character is ditsy reminiscent of Chrissy from Three's Company.  The running joke with her is that as everyone else is afraid of the vampires, she is just horny and thinks being eaten is a sex reference when they warn her about it. 

I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  Not a must watch but isn't the worst thing in the world.  Unfortunately, from a female vampire standpoint it's a bunch of blink and you'll miss it moments. 

Monday, August 16, 2021

Vampiress Review: "Witchcraft 7: Judgement Hour"



The Gist: A couple of cops are put on a case when a young girl dies of mysterious circumstances at a party that ends up being the work of a vampire. 

 

Female Vampire Factor:  The film starts with a vampire biting a girl name Rachel (Ashley Rhey) after sex.  

Her friend finds her and calls an ambulance where she's rushed to the hospital and is eventually pronounced dead.  She doesn't stay that way as while the main detectives are looking her over she wakes up, manhandles both and runs off. 

She ends up running down a street in her hospital gown and passes a guy.  They end up having sex in the bushes which is where she fangs out and bites him. 

The detectives happen to drive past seeing this and went after her.  Once again she makes short work of them until Will Spanner (the main character of the series up to this point) puts a tree branch in her heart killing her. 

The next female vampire we see is Will's wife Kelly.  Throughout the film she's pretty moody, nagging Will one second and screwing him the next. 


One night while Will is on the phone with one of the detectives the vampire flies into his room and bites Kelly.

Will eventually gets back in bed with her which is when the vampire takes control of her telepathically.  She then flips out, scratching his chest and licking the blood off of him.
When he sees she's fanging out he punches her out then ties her up. 
The movie ends with the vampire after being staked by Will going back to Kelly and asking her to take the stake out.  She instead pushes it further in killing him.


Final Opinion: Despite this film being labeled "The Final Chapter" it absolutely wasn't and also wasn't the last of the Witchcraft series that dealt with vampires.  This one is pretty cheesy with especially cheap looking effects well beyond the rubber fangs.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5 as at least the sex scenes are decent.  Witchcraft X was a much better vampire film in the series which I reviewed HERE

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Monday, September 4, 2017

Vampiress Review: Mistress of Seduction

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0479103/

The Gist:  A Female vampire comes to a college campus in search of the reincarnated soul of the man who killed her father while seducing and making victims of the co-eds she meets along the way.

Clarification: This is early Seduction Cinema (late 1990's/early 2000's) so for those not familiar with that basically it's scripted amateur softcore porn.  Back in the day you would buy these if you weren't old enough to get into real porn stores because it was available at regular retailers since it was softcore and story based.
I would complain about the editing but there really is no editing at least on the version I watched (The VHS version).  By that meaning every take good or bad is still in the film and in some cases multiple takes of the same scene and bloopers are still in the film.  Don't worry though.  If you're watching this for the story you've already screwed up.

Selling Point: As mentioned these types of films used to be an easy way to see some nudity that was otherwise hard to find during an era where you had to go to porn stores and pay for premium cable to see it. By todays standards there's way better stuff for free on the internet.  Honestly even by year 2000 standards this wasn't that good.

Female Vampire Factor:  The main vampire in the film is named Vamprina (Alysabeth Clements).  The backstory is she is the daughter of Dracula.  The guy she's going after is the reincarnation of the vampire hunter that killed her father. Basically she spends the entire movie seducing people by doing an Elvira impression (basically just being very sarcastic but in a sexy way). 
Pretty much all the women she encounters in the film with the exception of the first one ends up a vampire by the end.  You see them at the end looking a lot like they're going to an 80's hair band concert when they're preparing to do a soul steeling ritual. 
In the final scene the sister of the guy she's looking for gets turned and threatens to find Vamprina to avenge her brother (who commits suicide so Vamprina technically isn't responsible) setting up a possible sequel that I'd assume isn't going to happen since it's been 17 years.
I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  This one is skipable.  

Saturday, February 4, 2017

The Vampiress Episode: "Women: Stories of Passion"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0750212/?ref_=ttep_ep7
"The Little Vampire"
Season 2
Episode 7

Women: Stories of Passion was a weekly erotic television series produced by Playboy entertainment which aired on the Showtime Network from 1996 to 1999.  The premise of the show was an author interviewing women about their romantic escapades with men basically just making it a live action romance novel. Every week it would be a different woman with a different story to tell where she has lots of passionate sex. 

In this episode from the shows second season which aired in 1997 we meet a woman named Angelica (Shannah Laumeister)
Once upon a time she got with some guy while she was drunk who loured her outside and bit her turning her into a vampire.  She then spent the bulk of her life in an abandoned mansion by herself eating mice.  
One day she lours a guy into the mansion where they eventually have sex.  She bites him but doesn't drain him. They fall for each other so this happens repeatedly.  
As they start to get close the vampire who turned her returns to take her back and threatens her new beau.  He wants her to stop eating mice and learn to kill humans including her new man. 
This results in her learning to stand up for herself and eventually sacrificing herself for her new man which apparently broke the vampire curse and they live happily ever after.  
You're not going to get much out of this episode other than R rated sex scenes and there are no fangs.  If you're into fairy tales this series is a good watch.  Otherwise not the top of the line in the softcore porn genre. 

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Vampiress XXX Review: "Sex Hex"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1054508/

The Gist: Women in an office are mysteriously dying during lesbian sex and a janitor that witnesses one of the incidents contacts a bumbling vampire hunter.

Clarification: This film is Seduction Cinema level bad (with the same stars).  Basically there's a story but the story is just an excuse for softcore lesbian sex.  In between those sex scenes is ridiculously corny scenes that depend on sophomoric humor complete with poop jokes, boob jokes and anything else that would make the male main character act like a 12 year old just going through puberty.

Selling Point:  If you're into softcore girl on girl there are plenty of decent scenes.

Female Vampire Factor: The only one in the film is "Diane" played by Sabrina Faire.
Diane is a secretary for the business the film revolves around. She has the ability to manipulate womens minds to make them aroused and she seems to feed off of them psychically as they orgasm.  This along with the fact that she has no fangs does make her more of a succubus but the movie refers to her as a "new kind of vampire" while self awaringly hinting that the film makers were just too cheap to get fangs for her (they actually say this in a scene).
If you're going to watch the film definitely do it for the sex and not the story which is downright difficult to muster through.  I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Vampiress Review: "Hot Vampire Nights"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0300000/

The Gist: A Vampiress calls into a late night radio show to share her stories of seducing woman.

Clarification: Not much to this film.  Just your run of the mill scene based lesbian softcore porn.  The radio call in segments act as no more than lead ins to the sex scenes which all consists of a woman doing something sexy by herself then the vampire showing up having sex with her then biting her at the end. The DVD does have a different cover. The odd thing on it is that the cover on the DVD actually features the stars of the film Titanic 2000/Sexy Disaster Movie.

Selling Point: If you like lesbian sex, you get an hour of it.

Female Vampire Factor: Former Playboy cover girl Shelly Jones plays the vampire in this film..
Basically the film is lots of scenes of her posing in sexy lingerie with wind blowing against her when she appears to her victims.  As far as biting goes, no fangs.  Just a very quick bite that signals the end of the scene where they go back to the radio show portion of the film.

This becomes no big deal considering the one time you do get to see fangs in the film which is after Mina (the vampire) turns the radio hostess (Anita Hayes), they are your cheap plastic fangs you get as a gag gifts around Halloween.
As a Vampire film it is totally lacking but pretty good as a Cinemax style softcore film so I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.


Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Vampiress Review: "Sex With a Vampire"


The Gist: A vampire falls in love with a women who recently broke up with her boyfriend

Clarification:  This is a film from the Showtime Networks "After Hours" catalog.  Basically that means it's exactly the same as every other softcore porn that airs on the network meaning the actual movie is about 20 minutes long with the remaining hour being sex scenes.  As a matter of fact the ending of the film is basically just told to you in a conversation between the main characters just so they could fit in one last sex scene.  In other words, don't expect much if you attempt to watch this movie

Female Vampire Factor:

Alektra Blue (Ariel)
As the story goes Ariel is the vampire who turned the main vamp of the film and spends most of it protecting him while he lusts after a human.  We eventually find out she herself is in love with him and hoped that he would feel the same way but took it surprisingly well when he doesn't.    In other words, she would have been a great antagonist but since this was written and produced by a porn star there wasn't too much thought put into the plot and it really doesn't go anywhere. 











On the bright side she does have fangs thankfully



Honestly this film is sub par as far as erotic vampire films go.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.  If you're in the mode for a similar style of film done with a lot more entertainment value I highly recommend the "Embrace the Darkness" series instead. 

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Vampiress Review: Morgana


The Gist: A nieve farm girl heads to L.A. with dreams of becoming a movie star but the talent agency she signs with ends up being a cover for a call girl service for high class clientel run by a brood of vampires.

Clarification:  Originally produced in 1996 and shown regularly on Cinemax after Dark under it's original title "Blonde Heaven" this is one of those films that got a name and box art makeover to go along with it's later DVD release in 2001 (the idea being that marketing the film to look like an action Sci-Fi flick might boost sales).  The odd thing about it being that there is NO ONE named Morgana in the film.  The name is literally only mentioned in the updated title and end credit sequence in reference to Julie Strain who's character again is NOT named Morgana. 

Selling Point:  This is basically an all star cast as far as 80's and 90's softcore film and "B" movie actresses go.  Plus it has the legendary Joe Estevez in it (well, legendary to any fan of the television series "Mystery Science Theater 3000 that is).

Female Vampire Factor:  While every member of "Blonde Heavens" (which is the name of the talent agency which should have been a red flag right there) board are vampires only the ones involved in the main storyline (which is about a lesbian power struggle) plus one additional cameo fang out.

Julie Strain (Illyana)
As the leader of the brood Illyana is the most powerful vampire in the agency and because of that has a tendency to want to abuse her power.  This is shown immediately as at the start of the film the group is bidding on who gets first crack at the new talent signed to the agency and though another vampire wins, she uses her vito power to take the girl for herself anyway.  This also sets the tone for the rest of the film.  
  








Monique T. Parent (Viva)
Viva is the other end of the power struggle.  She is presumably the second most powerful vampire of the group and is normally the one who looses out when Illyana makes her moves. Once sweet innocent Angie (Raelyn Saalmen) shows up and Illyana once again takes it upon herself to claim Angie for herself, Viva decides that she isn't giving that one up without a fight and neither Illyana or her boyfriend from back home will stop her. Parent can also be seen fanging out as Elizabeth Bathory in the 3rd film of the Countess Dracula trilogy "Blood Scarab".









Michelle Bauer (Amanda Blackwell)
Basically in this film Bauer is playing herself but with a different name.  The 80's scream queen legend who I reviewed previously in the highly recommended film Beverly Hills Vamps plays a legendary scream queen and client of the Blonde Heaven agency who runs into her biggest fan in the ending vampire hunting melee who happens to be the head vampire hunter.  How convenient for her since she happens to be an actual vampire (as opposed to just playing one in her movies) and what happens?  The hunter gets to have sex with his favorite actress.  Though her role has absolutely nothing to do with anything that happens before it (ala everything before the films end) Her characters introduction is important in that it does lead to the events that end the film.   





This film comes off as basically a collection of sex scenes followed by a vampire showing fangs.  Most of the stuff that takes up the bulk of the film could honestly be taken out and not effect the story whatsoever (pretty much any non lesbian sex scene with Saalmen in it).  For the time period it came out it is one of the hottest vampire softcore porns available even if some of the scenes are recycled through out the film and Bauers inclusion and use was a clever easter egg for hardcore "B" movie scream queen buffs so for that it gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 4 out of 5

Trailer

Friday, February 15, 2013

Vampiress Review: "Haunting Desires"


The Gist: A nosy reporter (Beverly Lynne) finds herself knee deep in vampires when an investigation into a mysterious death leads her to a strip club inhabited by them.

Clarification:  What's with reporters trying to solve cases in stuff like this, I mean really?  Honestly there isn't much else to say about this film as the plot is pretty cut and dry, a guy goes to a strip club, stripper goes to guys creepy molester van with him, they have sex, she sprouts fangs.  His response is to attempt to drive off with her still in the back of the van (yeah that confused me too).  She catches up with him (because you know she's still in the same van with the guy and normal people realize that driving away from someone only works when they're NOT in the same van with you) and from there we just get a movie full of random boobs, the always witty Jay Richardson and the equally as witty (Though not so much in this film) but much more buff Evan Stone.

Selling Point: This is a Fred Olen Ray film.  Need I say more.   

Female Vampire Factor: Sadly unlike all the other F.O.R vampire flicks the vampiresses are pretty much extra's.  They don't have speaking roles and are mostly seen stripping in the background of scenes though they do get significant screen time doing henchwoman duty for Evan Stones character Adrian.  It must be a bad economy when a vampire strip club can only afford two vampire strippers.

 Belinda Gavin  (Melissa)
and

Fallon Pfeifer (Samantha)

Melissa is the vamp who gets the ball rolling at the beginning of the film by feeding on the genius that brings her back to his van.  If she looks familiar it might be because Belinda also played a vamp briefly in the film Countess Dracula's Orgy of Blood.

Samantha on the other hand is the adorable vamp who acts as Adrians #2 (she even has a line or two in the film).  Sadly she is no longer in the acting business and this was her only film.  At least our first and last memory of her is her in some very sexy stripper-wear. 

Though this film has all the aspects of a great Fred Olen Ray film, this blog is about the female vamps which while these two are very hot, didn't get enough of a role to really make it a "must see".  For that I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.