Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Vampiress Review: Morgana

The Gist: A nieve farm girl heads to L.A. with dreams of becoming a movie star but the talent agency she signs with ends up being a cover for a call girl service for high class clientel run by a brood of vampires.

Clarification:  Originally produced in 1996 and shown regularly on Cinemax after Dark under it's original title "Blonde Heaven" this is one of those films that got a name and box art makeover to go along with it's later DVD release in 2001 (the idea being that marketing the film to look like an action Sci-Fi flick might boost sales).  The odd thing about it being that there is NO ONE named Morgana in the film.  The name is literally only mentioned in the updated title and end credit sequence in reference to Julie Strain who's character again is NOT named Morgana. 

Selling Point:  This is basically an all star cast as far as 80's and 90's softcore film and "B" movie actresses go.  Plus it has the legendary Joe Estevez in it (well, legendary to any fan of the television series "Mystery Science Theater 3000 that is).

Female Vampire Factor:  While every member of "Blonde Heavens" (which is the name of the talent agency which should have been a red flag right there) board are vampires only the ones involved in the main storyline (which is about a lesbian power struggle) plus one additional cameo fang out.

Julie Strain (Illyana)
As the leader of the brood Illyana is the most powerful vampire in the agency and because of that has a tendency to want to abuse her power.  This is shown immediately as at the start of the film the group is bidding on who gets first crack at the new talent signed to the agency and though another vampire wins, she uses her vito power to take the girl for herself anyway.  This also sets the tone for the rest of the film.  

Monique T. Parent (Viva)
Viva is the other end of the power struggle.  She is presumably the second most powerful vampire of the group and is normally the one who looses out when Illyana makes her moves. Once sweet innocent Angie (Raelyn Saalmen) shows up and Illyana once again takes it upon herself to claim Angie for herself, Viva decides that she isn't giving that one up without a fight and neither Illyana or her boyfriend from back home will stop her. Parent can also be seen fanging out as Elizabeth Bathory in the 3rd film of the Countess Dracula trilogy "Blood Scarab".

Michelle Bauer (Amanda Blackwell)
Basically in this film Bauer is playing herself but with a different name.  The 80's scream queen legend who I reviewed previously in the highly recommended film Beverly Hills Vamps plays a legendary scream queen and client of the Blonde Heaven agency who runs into her biggest fan in the ending vampire hunting melee who happens to be the head vampire hunter.  How convenient for her since she happens to be an actual vampire (as opposed to just playing one in her movies) and what happens?  The hunter gets to have sex with his favorite actress.  Though her role has absolutely nothing to do with anything that happens before it (ala everything before the films end) Her characters introduction is important in that it does lead to the events that end the film.   

This film comes off as basically a collection of sex scenes followed by a vampire showing fangs.  Most of the stuff that takes up the bulk of the film could honestly be taken out and not effect the story whatsoever (pretty much any non lesbian sex scene with Saalmen in it).  For the time period it came out it is one of the hottest vampire softcore porns available even if some of the scenes are recycled through out the film and Bauers inclusion and use was a clever easter egg for hardcore "B" movie scream queen buffs so for that it gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 4 out of 5


1 comment:

  1. I've always had a deep hatred for the entire ouevre of Dave DeCoteau - hopefully not to sound homophobic but it's a tragedy that, by volume, 92% of all softecore lesbian vampire movies were directed either by DeCoteau or Fred Olen Ray, two gay men who always shove the supposed subject of the movie far into the background and focus on beefcake footage of shirtless himbos. Blonde Heaven is especially a bitter pill because it should be about the farm girl's corruption but the twist is she's just a macguffin and the farm boy's journey is the whole thing - which admittedly you could say is artistically more worthwhile but who's watching a softcore lesbian vampire movie for art?