Saturday, February 9, 2013

Vampiress Review: "Lust for Dracula"

The Gist: A neglected wife is seduced by a vampire.

Clarification:  There is no clarification for this film.  It actually makes my head hurt trying to make heads or tales of anything that actually happens in it to tell you the truth.  The description of the film says something about "an adaptation of Bram Stokers classic tale, which has been moved to present day, given a gender switch, and fortified with a potent sexual undertow."  Now I've read Dracula and I've seen what seems like hundreds of film adaptations of the story and the only relation between this film and Dracula is the characters names which almost all come from the novel.  Now remember, this is a mostly female cast which means that for example Julian Wells plays Jonathan Harker and they make sure you know that these females are indeed playing men (by wearing shirts and ties and shaving etc).

Selling Point: Tons of lesbian sex that apparently is so good that it can turn a bisexual nineteen year old girl into a complete lesbian

Female Vampire Factor: OK, I think everyone in the film is a vampire...or maybe not (I kid you not I watched this film several times in a row and get more lost with the plot each time).  No matter how many vampires there are supposed to be, only two fang out so I'll just stick with them.

Darian Caine (Dracula)
So this isn't your run of the mill Dracula (though I wish it was but you do get the costume at least in "The Erotic Adventures of Van Helsing").  Basically she stands around naked and talks to Mina (Misty Mundae) while staring into space a lot.  If I had to guess I believe Dracula in this film was supposed to be tortured which explains why she seems so distant throughout the film.  This is what happens when a company known for making comedic softcore porn attempts to do a serious film. Had they just stuck with the traditional Dracula story, it would have been hotter and a hell of a lot easier to understand.

Andrea Davis (Sara)

Sara is a vampire schoolgirl who is taking the time to teach Beth (Casey Jones) the nuances of being a vampire.  What does this story have to do with the Dracula storyline?....not too sure but it gets a lot of screen time anyway.  The above scene is actually from the very beginning of the movie (prior to the opening credits) just to throw you off from the very start that this is NOT the Bram Stoker story.

The film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5 because as I said, in a way every female in it is a vampire (some are vampires and the others think they are).  Part of the issue as far as understanding the plot comes down to how long the sex scenes are (VERY) and that pretty much everything is implied and not spelled out.  Also if you go in actually expecting anything close to the storyline of Dracula you'll have no chance with this one.  Let's face it, if you decided to watch this you could care less about the plot anyway so I'll just say if you're into lesbian sex you'll probably like this one.  Otherwise, it's just plain weird.
Full Film

1 comment:

  1. It's astounding how many weird and bad movies like this there are out there. Is it really that hard to write a decent lesbian vampire movie? It's not rocket science after all.