Sunday, February 17, 2013

Vampiress Review: "Dracula's Widow"

The Gist: A museum worker named Raymond while preparing an exhibit of items belonging to Count Dracula unknowingly unleashes one of his brides and the last remaining vampire on Earth on the citizens of Los Angeles.

Clarification: This is your average 1980's horror film filled with a ridiculous amount of gore.  The main vampire in the film often becomes a really nasty creature that likes to dismember it's victims when she's angry (which is nearly every other scene she's in).

Female Vampire Factor:  As described in the gist, she is to be the last one on Earth and she doesn't turn any other women so...

Sylvia Kristel (Vanessa)
The late iconic actress who originated the on screen version of the erotic character "Emmanuelle" couldn't be any farther from that character than she is in her performance in this film.  Vanessa the vampire is not sensual, delicate or all that sexy as a matter of fact.  The entire film she's wearing what is best described as a skirt suit that a middle aged librarian would wear and the wig she has on doesn't help much with the look either (this is further confusing considering she was to have been stuck in a crate for hundreds of years prior to that clothing style even existing).  On top of all that her fangs look like the rubber monster teeth you get in the nickel machines at the grocery store.  Outside of the look the character itself is quite bossy and comes off as a nagging jealous girlfriend more than she does the former queen of vampires.

 So basically you have a movie about the nagging jealous girlfriend from hell and instead of PMSing she turns into a giant bat/demon creature when she's in one of her moods. At least if you're going to deal with that you could get something out of it which poor Raymond does not. For that this film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5.  You can find a much better and hotter supernatural girlfriend from hell in the film Prom Night 3: The Last Kiss.  For a better and hotter jealous vampire girlfriend I'd suggest Vampires Kiss which I reviewed HERE

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