Thursday, November 12, 2015

Vampiress Review: "Sucker: The Vampire"

The Gist:  A vampire slayer who is a descendant of Abraham Van Helsing hunts a rock band of vampires.

Clarification:  This film is weird by even Troma standards.   You've got a vampire band which is the least strange.  Then there's their roadie who's a necrophiliac and does the dirty work for the vampires just so he can dress the bodies up in sexy outfits and take pictures with them (as well as other things), not to mention he's just socially awkward.  Finally your vampire slayer apparently has either HIV or AIDS and when she gets bit spreads it to the main vampire of the film.

Basically this is the strangest after school special ever written as most of the main characters freak out about possibly having AIDS. So why is the undead afraid of a disease that kills living people?   According to the female vampire that turned our dying vamp (and wants him dead) the disease has the exact same effect on vampires as it does humans with the exception of the fact the vampire won't die.  He'll just shrivel and decay until someone mistakes him for a corpse and buries him (completely ignoring that he'd likely starve to death before that in this explanation but whatever).

Female Vampire Factor:  You've got two in the film.  First the vampire who turned the band from the get go Lenore (P.K. Phillips).
She's only seen in a few scenes.  Once to gloat to the vampire Anthony about the predicament he's in, again to talk the vampire slayer Vanessa into killing Anthony with a stake through the heart and finally at the films conclusion to attempt to seduce the roadie Reed.
Lastly you have the vampire slayer Vanessa Van Helsing (Monica Baber)
She's only briefly seen as a vampire after she's turned.  In fact her character is just kind of forgotten about after that point with the roadie becoming the films protagonist once she's placed in a "guest coffin".

Told you the film was strange.  Anyway Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  It starts out as a vampire film but just looses it's way after the AIDS thing.

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