Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Vampiress Review: "New Breed"

The Gist: A guy becomes a vampire after being recruited to a gothic club and sets out to destroy the vampires responsible.

Clarification:  I'm used to complaining about amateur made low budget movies having pointless backstory that does nothing but pad the run time.  This is the exact opposite.  The plot progresses so fast the movie is almost absurdly funny thanks to the amount of logic stretching you need to do.  I'm talking months worth of relationship building between characters happening within minutes of them meeting type stuff. 

Also the vampires of this movie seem to have a weird obsession with looking goth.  The film really does push the point that the first thing vampires do when they get turned is go to a store and buy black clothes, black lipstick and nail polish.  For the record that's not me being snarky, they really do show this happening.

Female Vampire Factor:  There are a bunch but I'll just stick to the two the main character turns that get some ok fang time. There is a female vampire cult leader who is seen on the cover of the film and is dancing throughout its opening credits but she is barely a footnote in the movie itself.

The first is his second "girlfriend" in the film.  I put Girlfriend in quotes because he asks her out after the most awkward conversation where she goes from "I don't dig goth guys" to "you're different than other guys" in less than a minute of talking then confesses to her on their first date that he's a vampire.  She then goes all Bella from Twilight on him and he turns her.  This relationship literally lasts one day from start to finish.
The second is the coroner who removes the stake form his heart after he's killed in one of the two vampire fight scenes in the film.  She goes from "get away from me" to "ok you can turn me into a vampire and I'm in love with you" in about 30 seconds of dialogue.  Unlike the first she actually gets a scenes where she bites someone when she feeds on a detective.
He also turns his first girlfriend but that happens off screen and we're just told about it.  She is seen as a vampire in the fight scenes but not much to show. 
I give this a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  Basically imagine taking all 8 seasons of the Vampire Diaries and cramming them into 1 hour but making everything that happened during those 8 seasons happen in a span of 2 in movie days.  That's this movie. 

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