Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Vampiress Review: Cryptz

The Gist: Three guys are invited to a new strip club by a sexy girl on the street unsuspecting that it is run by a vampire priestess looking for victims.

 Clarification:  Director Danny Draven said of this film that he was inspired by the Grace Jones movie "Vamp" which is very obvious when you see this film.  Unlike Vamp it is much more logical in that the premise is a lot more believable.  Also like Vamp (which is a takeaway for me) it's just as gory which I think as far as vampire films go is pointless. A vampire spraying blood and guts everywhere is like someone going to McDonalds and rubbing a Big Mac all over their mouth but only getting some of it actually in there.  You just aren't going to get much nourishment with that and that's the whole reason vampires have fangs in the first place.

Selling Point: Surprisingly more entertaining than many other movies in the "low budget urban horror" category thanks to some charismatic characters that overshadow some strange and sometimes confusing plot points.

Female Vampire Factor: As in many low budget vampire strip club films the rule of 3 applies here.  You have your tongueless vampire priestess Kulada (played by Ty Badger).

You then have your vampire waitress who seems to not be on the list to get a promotion anytime soon for one reason or another but gets enough scenes to make her worth mentioning played by Olympia Fernandez.

 And finally you have your really hot familiar who is rewarded in the film with immortality for bringing in the three victims which makes her seem not as bad considering as a vampire she has an excuse for being as twisted as she is where she didn't before when she was just killing people for fun named Stesha (played by Lunden De'Leon).

If you're a fan of low budget films in the urban genre this is one of the better ones but as I said that's only compared to others in the genre (which isn't saying much in some cases).  As far as a Vampire Beauty Rating goes, it gets a 3 out of 5.  If you take away the gore it probably would go up to a 4 but even then the film "Vampz" is still the standard for what an enjoyable urban vampire film about strippers or prostitutes is meant to be like. 

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