Vampiress Review: "What We Do in the Shadows"

The Gist: A mock documentary documenting the lives of several vampires living together in a flat in New Zealand.

Clarification:  Pretty simple,  Just take the Office and replace the office with an flat and the workers with vampires and it's the same concept.  The fact that their monsters does at least in my mind make it a lot more entertaining as they normalize a lifestyle that isn't normal whatsoever not to mention they vampires in the house are very much set in old ways which then get turned upside down when a newly turned vampire moves in with his human room mate and tries to modernize them

Selling Point: It's a decent comedy.

Female Vampire Factor: All the main characters are men.  In fact there are barely women in the movie at all let alone ones important to the plot.  In the films beginning the first time they go out on the town they do interact with a few as they explain how there are others in New Zealand.

The next instance after that is a vampire antagonist they meet at a vampire masquerade ball who tries to kill their human friend.

And finally Jackie (Jackie Van Beek) She is a familiar to the main vamp in the house who does all his bidding in hopes of getting turned one day.  After the film is over you find out in a mid credit scene that she had been turned and has now made her husband her familiar.

It's not a bad comedy at all so for that it's watchable.  As far as a Vampire Beauty Rating it's a 2 out of 5.

Vampiress Review: "#VampireLife"

The Gist: Two stories that deal with women being attacked by vampires.

Clarification:  In the first tale called "Money, Vampires and Weed" three girls get held hostage by a woman who stole a large bag of money from a vampire.  In the second story "Crimson" a group of medical students help a woman who was attacked by a group of vampires who are looking for her.

Selling Point: All the stories do revolve around women.

Female Vampire Factor:  I've already reviewed the film Crimson which you can view HERE.  I will mention the one presented here is a thoroughly edited down version which takes out a lot of the stuff I complain about in my original review so the enjoyment factor on this version is much higher.

The first movie "Money, Vampires and Weed" on the other hand was my first time watching that and I have to say I was entertained. It wasn't bad entertaining it was dumb entertaining.  Basically you take the premise of the first "Purge" movie but replace the purgers with a vampire wanting his money and replace the family with three ditsy college students with the dumbest one being the blonde pot head who pretty much just let's the vampire in and talks to him like nothing is going on.

SPOILER ALERT The only negative takeaway is the fact that when the payoff actually does happen at the end it's so brief you barely see it. 

If you're going to watch a version of Crimson definitely get this film and not it's original format.  I give the DVD a Vampire Beauty Rating of 4 out of 5 just based on that with "Money, Vampires and Weed" just being a decent bonus.

Vampiress Review: "Vampyre"

The Gist:  A man whose family is murdered by vampires comes back to haunt them.

Clarification:  That is the best explanation I can give to this movie.  It is downright impossible to follow.  Not much dialogue and even if there was the film was so random it wouldn't have even mattered.  It's best described as a very cheep attempt at a Jean Rollins style vampire film.

Selling Point: You get a topless lead vampire with a cloak.

Female Vampire Factor:  They're in here.  Some have fangs, some don't, pretty much luck of the draw.

I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  I'd steer clear of this and just go ahead and watch and actual Jean Rollins Vampire flick.