Sunday, May 8, 2016

Vampiress Review: "Cowboys vs Vampires"

The Gist: A corporation buys a western movie themed amusement attraction in order to open up a cavern containing Indian artifacts which ends up turning the cast into vampires and it's up to the star of the attraction to become a real life hero.

Clarification: An hour and a half film in which its pretty pedestrian for the first hour and ten minutes and pretty entertaining for the last twenty.  The bulk of the film concentrates on the boring personal life of western movie obsessed actor Johnny Dust (Jasen Wade).  He works as an actor in an amusement park because westerns aren't in style anymore and he's divorced due to alcoholism.  When they're not dealing with his dull back story they're mostly showing the rehearsal for this big Halloween attraction that the studio has planned. An attraction that come opening night becomes realistic as the actors playing vampire parts become actual vampires.

Selling Point: Former WWF announcer Sean Mooney makes a cameo in the film.
 The movie was made in Tuscon Arizona where he is a newscaster so he is used in a scene reporting on what happened at the park.

Female Vampire Factor: The lead actress in the production Gloria Valenzuela played by Angelica Celaya ends up being the main vampire in the film.
I guess she could have been the selling point of the film since she is smoking hot and she makes a VERY seductive vampire but her talent was wasted in this film.  Though she was the best thing about it her character was treated as an after thought despite being teased several times as a love interest/moral dilemma for lead character Johnny Dust.  Though a battle does ensue between her and Johnny's ex wife Sarah during the films finale, it's just thrown together randomly with the two not having any interaction before that.  They definitely missed out on what would have been a good "woman trying to save her family from a younger woman with evil intentions" story.  That would have been miles better than the "rehearsal at Six Flags Ponderosa goes wrong" story we got.
This film could have been so much more.  The last twenty minutes of the film is liken to a slasher horror film but fact is you have to deal with way too much dullness just to get to that point.  It's too bad since as stated Celaya was a great vampiress.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.

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