Sunday, January 3, 2016

Vampiress review: The Caretakers

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3522000/

The Gist: When a vampires victim escapes it's up to her and her caretakers to find the woman and destroy her before she turns into a feral monster.

Clarification: So this is one of those films that has multiple stories that eventually come together.  Unlike most independent movies who try that method it actually does happen here.  Most of the film follows the girl who was bitten by the vampire.   As it's explained in this film vampires can only be born.  The victims of the vampires in actuality become feral half breeds who have no control over themselves and can only feed on like blood types.  In this case she is being "helped" by a horny moron named Jimmy who has a crush on her so he goes around stabbing people and testing their blood trying to find the right type to feed her.  Obviously this is problematic for many reasons but the main being that the one thing she needs to survive is being wasted since he's STABBING the victims.  On top of that she doesn't actually need him being that she's basically becoming a monster with blood hunting skills which comes out throughout the film. 

Selling Point: It has Mystery Science Theater 3000 film legend and Charlie Sheen's uncle Joe Estevez in it.  Can't go wrong right?

Female Vampire Factor: So you have two (or 1.5 if you go by their explanation) and both are female.  First you have the main vampire Catherine (April Jennings)
She actually does very little in the film and is barely seen really.   Her portion of the story actually follows her caretakers (hense the film title).  A man and his daughter that she saved from a murderer are being trained to basically do her bidding and in return she takes care of them.  This part of the film is pretty much pointless outside of this being where the explanation of everything that's going on comes into play. Other than that it really stops the movie dead as several subplots are introduced that aren't important to the main story at all.

Finally you have Rachel (Brittany Saylor)
The real main plot of the film revolves around her and her attempting to survive while slowly loosing her humanity.  The film actually starts with her fanging out and asking Jimmy to lock her up so she won't attack.  I absolutely love the idea of feral vampires since it means she actually is a monster and not just a person with an alternative meal preference.

So you get an almost vampire horror movie that gets cut off regularly by sappy romance and dramatic subplots.   I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.

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