The Gist: A brood of vampires have to figure out how to have a funeral when one of their members dies of a blood disease.
Clarification: Not to be confused with the 1971 Jean Rollins movie of the same name this one is pretty much what I would imagine a bad dream after eating Mexican food after 1 AM would be. Not only does it have low budget movie A.D.D. but it switches genres so many times that it might as well be a skit on "Who's Line is it Anyway". It literally goes from Comedy to Drama to Horror to a musical (yes it breaks out into a "Sad" song and dance a half hour in), to Straight porn then to gay porn etc. Somewhere in there it's also a couples vacation movie. Either way the Gist I gave you is the closest thing to a plot you will find. Especially since the one they provide for you is more of a generality than the actual premise of the film. Honestly if you watch the film it comes off as a bunch of random scenes between 1 and 10 minutes long that can be loosely tied together. I found myself many times watching just an odd 1 minute clip of something happening in the film and thinking "what the hell was that?"
Selling Point: I can only imagine what this movie would be like if drunk or high.
Female Vampire Factor: Pretty much all the women in it are vamps but outside of one scene (where there are no fangs) it's not a very vampiric movie. The only fanging out you get is Lenora (Deana Demko)
and Tara Wolf (Jamie Stone)
This film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5. To be honest I enjoyed it quite a bit but not for any good reasons. If you get as much enjoyment out of train wrecks like Tommy Wiseau's the Room like I do, this is a few notches below that on the absurdity scale.