Wednesday, September 15, 2021

Vampiress Review: "Vampire Strippers"

 

The Gist: A group of female vampires seek revenge on the man who turned them. 

Female Vampire Factor:  All the women in the film are eventually turned into vampires.  As the story goes a vampire lures them all in with the promise of making their dreams come true, gives them tainted wine and then they wake up in his basement chained up and in lingerie. 

They eventually break out and go about making money and getting their sustenance via running a strip club. There really isn't much plot outside of the first half hour or so.  From there you just get random stripper scenes


Followed by about 10 minutes of random scenes of them partying and biting men
Followed by a very thrown together ending of the girls getting vampire killing tools and just showing up and killing the vampire Julion that takes all of 2 minutes. 


Final Opinion:  This is a VERY raw film. Poor lighting, poor sound and no real plot to the point that it's just an hour and twenty minutes of stuff just happening with some interruptions of people telling you what the plot is supposed to be.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5.  Basically it's a combination of the films Blood Angels and Vampz but either one of those films would be a better watch for the female vampire stripper or female vampire revenge plots. 

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

Vampiress Review: "Super Hot"

 

The Gist: A pizza delivery driver seeks the help of her friends to rescue her childhood best friend/crush when she moves in with a sorority of vampires.  


Female Vampire Factor: As mentioned the sorority in the film is a group of female vampires. 

Thing is only two of them actually fang out in the film and they're in quick flashes in one scene so not much actual vampirism happens.




Final Opinion:  This is one of those films that has so much potential but falls short due to a lot of attempted forced comedy that comes off annoying more than funny. 

A good majority of the movie is really annoying conversations between two people acting neurotic in cars.  Take away all of those scenes and the rest of the movie is actually pretty watchable. 

I mean the concept of a lesbian girl trying to save her high school crush from sorority vampires who she believes is trying to kill her works in every way if they knew how to concentrate on that story and not how socially awkward the protagonists of the film are around each other.

If the bulk of the film concentrated more on Jackie (the lesbian protagonist) and her relationship with Carmen (her crush) and how Carmen's personality was changing thanks to the new group she's hanging out with instead of Jackie driving around picking up people and talking about it, this could be an A+ film.  

As is I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  Netflix's "The Babysitter" franchise is what I feel the modern standard is for this type of film (girl protagonist has a crush on ends up being a monster) and this falls short of meeting that standard but it's definitely a respectable try. It does announce a future sequel so we'll see what happens from there. 

Monday, August 16, 2021

Vampiress Review: "Witchcraft 7: Judgement Hour"



The Gist: A couple of cops are put on a case when a young girl dies of mysterious circumstances at a party that ends up being the work of a vampire. 

 

Female Vampire Factor:  The film starts with a vampire biting a girl name Rachel (Ashley Rhey) after sex.  

Her friend finds her and calls an ambulance where she's rushed to the hospital and is eventually pronounced dead.  She doesn't stay that way as while the main detectives are looking her over she wakes up, manhandles both and runs off. 

She ends up running down a street in her hospital gown and passes a guy.  They end up having sex in the bushes which is where she fangs out and bites him. 

The detectives happen to drive past seeing this and went after her.  Once again she makes short work of them until Will Spanner (the main character of the series up to this point) puts a tree branch in her heart killing her. 

The next female vampire we see is Will's wife Kelly.  Throughout the film she's pretty moody, nagging Will one second and screwing him the next. 


One night while Will is on the phone with one of the detectives the vampire flies into his room and bites Kelly.

Will eventually gets back in bed with her which is when the vampire takes control of her telepathically.  She then flips out, scratching his chest and licking the blood off of him.
When he sees she's fanging out he punches her out then ties her up. 
The movie ends with the vampire after being staked by Will going back to Kelly and asking her to take the stake out.  She instead pushes it further in killing him.


Final Opinion: Despite this film being labeled "The Final Chapter" it absolutely wasn't and also wasn't the last of the Witchcraft series that dealt with vampires.  This one is pretty cheesy with especially cheap looking effects well beyond the rubber fangs.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5 as at least the sex scenes are decent.  Witchcraft X was a much better vampire film in the series which I reviewed HERE

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