Vampiress Review: "Bloodz vs Wolvez"

The Gist: The leaders of a group of vampires and werewolves try to work out a truce while their underlings go out of their way to sabotage the peace. 

Clarification:  Don't let the cover art fool you, this is actually a movie about morality and class and race relations within the black community.  There's some action in the movies end but basically the majority of the film is two guys talking about each others lives while their crews down each other for who they are and tell them not to trust the other.

First you have the "Bloodz".  They are the vampires of the film.  They're the upper class business owning snobs of the bunch that don't think much of the werewolves and don't hide that fact.

Then you have the "Wolvez".  They are you uneducated ghetto stereotypes who are extremely primal (yes there's a scene where one of them walks in a circle before taking a dump on the floor like a dog).

Selling Point: Much like it's predecessor "Vampiyaz" the film has some serious undertones but there are some scenes that are just laugh out loud funny though I'm not exactly sure if designed that way (ex. despite the film being about man eating mythical creatures, white people are still the most evil characters in the film). 

Female Vampire Factor:  There's only 3 in the Bloodz. First you have Jezebel (LaMae) who only is seen sparingly in group scenes.

Then you have the other two who actually get screen time who are Jamila (Kandiss Marie, Left) and her secret lesbian lover Damphira (Jenicia Garcia, right)

As the story goes Jamila is married to the leader of the Bloodz, Asiman (Richard Carroll Jr.) but is a real snob and is 100% against Asiman's campaign to make peace with the wolvez.  On top of that she's having an affair with Damphira who is one of her bodyguards.  What's odd is they do this in full view of everyone but seemingly no one even acknowledges it till near the end of the film.

Jamila is the only one of the two who fangs out but she doesn't do anything vampiric.  As a matter of fact they only seem to come out when she's whining or nagging more than anything.

I assume Damhira would have had fangs if it weren't for the fact that Garcia had braces during the filming of this movie (great casting right?) which is sad because she's pretty hot and this is a MUCH steamier role then the one as a nagging paraplegic in Vampiyaz.

Jenicia Garcia

 Garcia is listed as the associate producer of the film so huge brownie points for producing a film where she's making out with a girl for 25% of it (Maybe that should have been the selling point).  Anyway that is the one thing that saves the movie from the total disappointment of it not being an action title as the title alludes to.  For that I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.
 

Vampiress Review: "Metamorphosis"

The Gist:  An aspiring writer on a journey to Europe to research The blood countess Elizabeth Bathory with his two friends meets an attractive yet mysterious woman who turns out to be the 500 year old daughter of the countess who is now a vampire.

Clarification:  Once you see this film you realize that the film was probably written with the ending first.  Without giving too much away it's very much "Sixth Sense" like with a major unexpected plot twist.  The unfortunate part of this is that if you eliminate the characters of Kim and J.J. aka the best friends of main character Keith, this would be an outstanding film but with every step forward the main plot takes, it takes 8 steps back with the horrid attempt at comic relief which was those characters.  

Selling Point:  The film messes with the viewer using tactics similar to many horror video games that at first look seem like filming errors before it's later explained were parts of the plot itself.  

Female Vampire Factor: The main reason to see the film is "Elizabeth" played by the super hot Irena A Hoffman (Transylmania).

 As mentioned above Elizabeth is the daughter of the Countess Elizabeth Bathory who was taken away from her mother once she was locked up for the murders of the virgins whose blood she bathed in.  Once she found out her mothers fate she cursed the church resulting in her being punished to roam the Earth eternally as a vampire.  The thing is, as this film progresses life as a vampire doesn't seem that bad as they don't have any of the negatives that they deal with in other movies, shows, books etc (she can manipulate time and space and function in the daylight).  Also with one exception (below) she has no problem being around people and feeds mostly off of animal blood.

Outside of Elizabeth the only other female vamp scene in the film comes after annoying character #2 aka "Kim" (Jennifer Higham) gets captured and turned by the evil vampire "Constantine Thorzo" (Christopher Lambert of Highlander and Mortal Kombat fame). The one time in this entire film you actually WANT to see her and she's killed almost immediately.

 So in the end we have one hot female vampire who lusts after a human for love (and sex) and a very intriguing story but on the other hand several extremely annoying side characters who take away all the good the main plot gives you.  Still, Elizabeth is super sexy so I give this film a Vampire Beauty rating of 4 out of 5. 

Vampiress Review: "Nocturna: Grand daughter of Dracula"

The Gist:  The Grand Daughter of the Transylvanian Count falls in love with an American musician and moves to New York City in order to be with him in hopes that she can live a normal human existence.

Clarification: This isn't as much a movie as it is a really long disco music video.  The whole thing consists of mostly musical montages of Nocturna either dancing or just walking around with the occasional scene filled with awkward dialogue in between.  Needless to say, writing wasn't the Vietnamese beauties strong point (she co-wrote the film).

Selling Point:  Several topless scenes featuring not only Nocturna but three very attractive female prostitutes.

Female Vampire Factor:  There are several in the film including the original Lilly Munster herself Yvonne De Carlo but like I mentioned this isn't much of a vampire film so you wouldn't know it unless the film tells you that they are.  Only one vampire in the film fangs out and of course that would be the title character "Nocturna" played by Vietnamese belly dancer Nai Bonet...

Now granted, Ms Bonet is hot... I mean extremely hot and obviously she knows it as she is plastered all over this film dancing and wearing less and less clothes by the scene

 but the fact of the matter is she isn't much of an actress and the only vampiric thing you get out of Nocturna is in the first five minutes of the film.  The rest is her telling people she has a boyfriend over and over and over and over etc (when she's not walking or dancing of course).  

For that this film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  If any horror was attempted at all in this film it could have been great but instead it's a pretty sad attempt at a romantic comedy. 

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