Sunday, June 14, 2020

Vampiress Review: "Blood Woods"

The Gist: A group of bank robbers end up taking a family hostage after their getaway car breaks down who unknowingly are being protected by a vampire.

Female Vampire Factor: The first member of the bank robber crew to get turned is the only female of the group.  She's attacked by the main vampire while outside and when she returns she's banged up and complaining of extreme thirst.
Her brother who is also part of the robbers tries to get her out.  After he gets her into the car she fangs out and bites him (turning him).
She's not seen again until the scene where she is killed via being shot in the head after she attacks three of the female hostages.
It's also revealed that the old woman of the family is also a vampire but she is immobile, doesn't speak and is fed through blood cookies.

Final Opinion: This is a very low budget production so expect your average low budget movie issues like poor awkward scripting and bad lighting.  The biggest issue I have with this film is just the horridly slow pacing.  The film has a run time of about an hour and half but maybe an hour of it is the actual movie with the rest being a lot of fluff. By fluff I'm talking lots of establishing shots of trees on top of an intro and outro that establishes the film as part of a TV show that some backwoods person is watching on their TV while holding women hostage which promotes the video you're already watching or have watched. (Basically the actual film doesn't start till about 25 minutes in and ends 10 minutes before the ending credits)

The main story once it gets going is decent with the only complaint again being the start and stop pacing.  Basically Imagine From Dusk till Dawn (which, along with John Carpenters Vampires seems to be it's inspiration) but take away the fast paced story that reflects the gecko brothers attempt to escape the authorities and replace it with them sitting in the camper and talking about their day until vampire stuff happens. Basically it's an action horror that was awkwardly produced like it was a drama though no real dramatic stuff happens. 

I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  Only two vampiress scenes but they along with the backwoods meat shop parody commercial are probably the best thing in the film.  I definitely put this one on the list of "would be more enjoyable if a lot of stuff would have been kept on the cutting room floor or re-edited" category.

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