Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Vampiress Review: Embrace of the Vampire (2013)

The Gist: A remake of the 1995 film which originally starred Martin Kemp and Alyssa Milano's breasts.

Clarification:  Same general story but makes way more sense than the original.  Charlotte is a mousey shy young woman who is off to college on a fencing scholarship.  When she gets there she has to deal with having really slutty roommates, really pushy team mates along with having black outs which results in her having sex dreams (which is really traumatizing for a sheltered virgin).  She eventually finds out the sex dream problems stem from her being the ancestor of a powerful vampire and one of her victims is coming for her as drinking her blood would regain his humanity.  Low and behold that vampire just so happens to be her fencing coach.

Selling Point: In this version you don't have to wait till the end of the movie for the (much hotter and graphic) lesbian scene.  This time it's between Charlotte and one of her fencing team mates Sarah (played by Chelsey Reist) which ends in fangs (Below).
Who needs feminine protection with friends like these?

Vampire Beauty Rating:  Outside of the above scene the only other female vampire is Charlottes vampire ancestor Sorina played by Claire Smithies.  Sorina is only scene in flashbacks and takes the place of the three random naked women briefly show in the original.

Well we went from hardly any female vamp action in the original to an upgrade to barely any in the remake.  On the bright side, as stated, the lesbian scene (which is the only thing that made the original worth watching) has now been tied in to a female vamp scene.  Otherwise there is probably more gratuitous sex in this film than the original but nowhere near as kinky (no random threesomes this time around).  At the end of the day I'm actually sold on this movie just because it actually made sense and wasn't made for shock value.  In other words they actually attempted to tell a story and a very well done one at that.  Anyway this film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5 (for those keeping count that's one more than the original got from me).  

Full Movie

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