Vampiress Review: "Night Teeth"

 

The Gist: A young man filling in for his brother as a limo driver is unknowingly placed in the middle of a murder plot consisting of female vampire assassins on a murder spree. 

Female Vampire Factor: The passengers that limo driver Benny is assigned to pick up are two party girls by the name of Blare and Zoe.

Zoe is the brains of the operation.  She's the girlfriend of the vampire boss Victor who is using the two girls to take out his competition.  She's very short tempered and has no issue with killing anyone who crosses her. 

Blare on the other hand comes off more a victim of circumstance.  She goes along with everything Zoe does because Zoe is who created her but is still in tune with her human emotions and bonds with Benny throughout the film to the point that it seems she's into him and how innocent he is and doesn't want to see him harmed in spite of Zoe and Victors plans for him. 

The only other two female vampires in the film come in the form of one of the vampire leaders Grace and her #2

Grace in this case is played by the it girl of the 2010's Meghan Fox.  She doesn't do anything vampiric but you do get to see her in a very sexy outfit and with fangs during her one scene. 

Final Opinion:  Netflix thankfully does seemingly include one original vampire film in it's Halloween lineup and this one was a very pleasant surprise.  While I've never really been a fan of non horror vampire films, especially ones with the "vampires are just supernatural mobsters" premise as I prefer vampires to be something to fear, this one wasn't too bad.  The underlying story that the elite in the city of Los Angeles are really vampires who own the government and the street gangs are actually vampire hunters was a decent twist though not really explored enough to be important to the plot.  From a femme vamp standpoint you get a much better use of Lucy Fry as a vampire than she was used in the box office bomb "Vampire Academy". That as well as vampire Meghan Fox (though nowhere near the non vampiric performance in Jennifers Body) gives this a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.    

Vampiress Review: "Vampire Strippers"

 

The Gist: A group of female vampires seek revenge on the man who turned them. 

Female Vampire Factor:  All the women in the film are eventually turned into vampires.  As the story goes a vampire lures them all in with the promise of making their dreams come true, gives them tainted wine and then they wake up in his basement chained up and in lingerie. 

They eventually break out and go about making money and getting their sustenance via running a strip club. There really isn't much plot outside of the first half hour or so.  From there you just get random stripper scenes

Followed by about 10 minutes of random scenes of them partying and biting men

Followed by a very thrown together ending of the girls getting vampire killing tools and just showing up and killing the vampire Julion that takes all of 2 minutes. 

Final Opinion:  This is a VERY raw film. Poor lighting, poor sound and no real plot to the point that it's just an hour and twenty minutes of stuff just happening with some interruptions of people telling you what the plot is supposed to be.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5.  Basically it's a combination of the films Blood Angels and Vampz but either one of those films would be a better watch for the female vampire stripper or female vampire revenge plots. 

Vampiress Review: "Super Hot"

 

The Gist: A pizza delivery driver seeks the help of her friends to rescue her childhood best friend/crush when she moves in with a sorority of vampires.  

Female Vampire Factor: As mentioned the sorority in the film is a group of female vampires. 

Thing is only two of them actually fang out in the film and they're in quick flashes in one scene so not much actual vampirism happens.

Final Opinion:  This is one of those films that has so much potential but falls short due to a lot of attempted forced comedy that comes off annoying more than funny. 

A good majority of the movie is really annoying conversations between two people acting neurotic in cars.  Take away all of those scenes and the rest of the movie is actually pretty watchable. 

I mean the concept of a lesbian girl trying to save her high school crush from sorority vampires who she believes is trying to kill her works in every way if they knew how to concentrate on that story and not how socially awkward the protagonists of the film are around each other.

If the bulk of the film concentrated more on Jackie (the lesbian protagonist) and her relationship with Carmen (her crush) and how Carmen's personality was changing thanks to the new group she's hanging out with instead of Jackie driving around picking up people and talking about it, this could be an A+ film.  

As is I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.  Netflix's "The Babysitter" franchise is what I feel the modern standard is for this type of film (girl protagonist has a crush on ends up being a monster) and this falls short of meeting that standard but it's definitely a respectable try. It does announce a future sequel so we'll see what happens from there.