The Gist: A vampire photographer on the hunt falls in love with the investigator trying to solve the case of the deaths of those she's fed on.
Clarification: While the Lifetime Network isn't known for making too many "guy friendly" movies they've actually done pretty well the few times they've attempted to delve into the vampire genre mainly because the all powerful vampires are usually women with the victims always being men with the only exception being the TV show "Blood Ties" and even that had ONE EPISODE which had a super hot, super power sexy female vampire who was practically unstoppable. In this case they hide a love story as a horror film in time for Halloween.
Selling Point: The vampire is Laurie Partridge from the Partridge Family. That alone is worth the price of admission.
Susan Dey
Female Vampire Factor: So as stated above the payoff here is that if you were a kid in the 70's you probably had the hots for Laurie Partridge and get to see a much older (This was made in 1995 but she's still cute) Susan Dey in knee high leather boots sporting fangs and putting the bite on random guys throughout this film.
While nothing too sexy (this is Lifetime and could care less about the male demographic after all) it's still one of those "things you want to see before you die" type things (Kind of like if Brittany Spears ever did a vampire flick). Plot wise it's pretty much Dey's character "Rebecca" complaining about how lonely and desperate for companionship she is and her man servant constantly telling her to suck it up because she's a vampire (and rightfully so, if you're lonely then what's the man-servant for?). I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5 as in between whining and complaining she does hunt (sort of, this is Lifetime so lots of rapists everywhere to eat) so unlike some films at least she acts like a blood thirsty killer.
The Gist: A pothead decides to make a movie about vampires and ends up hiring an actual vampire to play the lead.
Clarification: Honestly, I think I did pretty good with "the gist" as I"m pretty sure the film maker aka Snoopy Green was extremely high when he came up with this film. It has some SERIOUS A.D.D. often stopping the plot completely for scenes in which Green and another cast member take turns hitting a bong while talking political conspiracy theories regarding the Bush administration (I can't make this stuff up folks). It's basically a bad movie about someone making a bad movie and I'm almost positive watching it creates some type of rift in the space/time continuum.
Selling Point: Getting the answer to the question of "How bad can a movie be", also Tess Hunt is pretty hot in all those short skirts she sports in it.
Female Vampire Factor: In the film Vlad (aka the vampire who wants to be an actor) has a sister named Zara played by Siri Dyal. She doesn't want him to be an actor because they are supposed to have sex and make evil demon babies together (again, I can't make this stuff up). Also Vlad has a thing for his co-star Betty (Tess Hunt) and she eventually is turned as well. At least by this movies version as there is no real special effects or fangs. Basically here's one of the closest things to a hot vamp scene you will find.
Anyway the film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5. On paper this could have worked but it wasn't taken serious enough to have any real entertainment value other than the occasional T&A.
The Gist: A Vampire Countess must drink the blood of a virgin 3 times before Halloween or loose her youth.
Clarification: This film is more of a guilty pleasure more than it is a "must see". It's a comedy which pretty much mocks the "impurity" or Los Angeles in the 1980's as High School senior "Mark" is the only virgin in the entire city and is trying his best to not be while the countess is busy trying to get her drinks in before that happens.
Selling Point: A Young unknown Jim Carrey and lots of supermodel vampire cleavage from Lauren Hutton.
Female Vampire Factor: The positive about this film is that it is about a female vampire. One who happens to be played by a former supermodel and is very seductive (at least for a comedy). The negative is there is no real blood drinking other than those related to the main plot and you never actually see those bites. That means no fangs. Well with the exception for this scene during the movies end confrontation....
Hutton isn't the only female vampire in the film. As the countesses story goes each of the virgins she bites in order to keep her youth eventually become vampires themselves and she takes them under her wing (apparently as a reward). When we meet those who pretty much act as henchmen and women that includes two females played by Robin Klein and Carey More (below)
They don't do much in the film other than hang in the background as eye candy and you do get full back nudity (impressive right) but otherwise you're not getting too much out of this film vamping wise so I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5. If you like cougar cleavage, this is your film, otherwise not much to offer.
