Vampiress Review: "The Boneyard Collection"

The Gist: Several comedic short horror films viewed by an elderly vampire doctor and his two young beautiful hostesses.

Female Vampire Factor: The first story of the film is called "Her Morbid Desire".  In it a woman tells her story about her first real big break in Hollywood when she gets the lead roll in a vampire movie.  Problem is actresses in the film end up murdered on set which ends up helping the popularity of the movie by generating buzz over the production.  The murders tend to be revealed during the filming of the scenes so there is A LOT of fanged women in this portion of the film.

 Also during the setup to the second story a vampiress named Nova comes to visit Dr. Acula

after that segment she has a catty moment with the Dr.'s lovelies leading to her fanging out.

Final Opinion: As far as the other stories you have..

Story 2: "Boogie With the Undead" which is about an all girl rock band who hunts zombies.

Story 3: "Cry of the Mummy" is about a mummy who is trying to find a way to break into show business.

Story 4: "The Devil's Due at Midnight" which is about ghouls and witches preparing to throw a party for the devil.

I will legitimately say this might be the standard for how these kinds of cheesy low budget compilation T&A films should be.  The shorts were actually kind of funny and the humor didn't feel forced at all not to mention the vampire section of the film was more vampiric then a lot of actual vampire films.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 4 out of 5.  Only thing keeping it from a five is that most of the film isn't vampire related but the parts that are do it very well.

Vampiress Review: "Vampire Vixens from Venus"

The Gist: A group of three aliens land on earth in order to steal the life force of sexually aroused men.

Clarification:  So this is the true definition of false advertising as there are no vampires in this film.  The aliens in this film use a contraption that goes on men's heads after they're aroused that seems to melt them into shriveled husks. The bulk of the movie is quirky style comedy, especially scenes that deal with the head detective involved with finding out what's going on with the aliens victims. This is a positive as most "B" films from this era go with the goofy slapstick stuff.  Unlike those films that feel like they're trying too hard this one will make you laugh.  Well it will if you can last passed the awful alien parts. 

Selling Point: It has full frontal nudity during a time where that was considered a big deal outside of porn.  Also as mentioned it does have some legit funny moments.

Female Vampire Factor:  So this movie goes by your B grade movie rule of threes

Two of the women, a blonde named "Arylai" (J.J. North, far right) and a brunette named "Omay" (former penthouse pet Leslie Glass, center) are pretty straight forward characters with not much substance to them.  They're hot and all business.   Then you have "Shirly" (Theresa Lynn,  far left).

She's your stereotypical dumb blond (though she's a red head in the film) thrown in for comic relief and pretty much the most entertaining thing you'll find in the film from the alien standpoint.  She obviously didn't put much effort into studying human behavior as she does things like tell alien jokes to humans not to mention her idea of seducing is "Do you want a blowjob?"

The twist of the film is the character "Shampay" (Michelle Bauer) who ends up being one of the aliens as well though you never see her interact with the other aliens of the film till after the reveal.  She spends the bulk of the film seducing the lead detective on the case as a distraction from finding out about the other girls.  If you want to see her as an actual vampire check out my reviews of the films "Beverly Hills Vamps" and "Morgana".

Outside of the the small bits of comedy it's a dud of a movie especially if you were expecting actual vampires and not aliens using a Polaroid instant camera of death (watch it and you'll understand why I called it that).  This film gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5.