Sunday, August 30, 2020

Vampiress Review: "Girls Just Wanna Have Blood"

The Gist: An unpopular girl who lives with her neglectful mother befriends a group of girls who end up being a brood of vampires that want to recruit her.

Female Vampire Factor: Your main vamps are April, Trish and Stacy.
Trish (middle) is the leader of the group with the other two being just followers.  It's never explained how exactly she became a vampire but it is explained that she wanted to become one after her parents died in a car accident destroying her belief in religion.  Their deal is to get men really drunk or high as well as horny before they can feed on them.  This is also not explained but I assume has something to do with wanting to get drunk or high by feeding, though this isn't a must as pretty much any scene in the film where they feed on females its basically just for the sake of killing and not for pleasure.  This only happens twice though.  The first time is when they attack some mean girls from Jessica's school for revenge on how they treated her and the second being when they attack her mother.
 Next we have Jessica
They convince her to turn after the above scene as they prove to be her first real friends.  
After she's turned she bites one of the johns there to visit her mother who attempts to force himself on her and the group joins in
 but after that she immediately regrets it, accuses the group of taking advantage of her while she was drunk and spends the rest of the film not wanting to be a vampire and even attempting to kill herself through exposure to the sun.  Her perverted neighbor saves her from the sun and explains to her if the head vampire is killed (Trish) everyone she turns becomes a human again.  He does this by literally showing her a porn on VHS that explains it (one of the few scenes where I kind of laughed out loud. 

Final Opinion: Also known as "Teenage Bloodsuckin Bimbo's" This film goes into the category of awesome concept but horrid execution.  There's been what feels like a million films with this same exact premise and this one probably had the most potential.  Unfortunately the writing and lack of direction gets in the way.  While I don't have an issue with the fact that it is supposed to be a goofy comedy, the extent of the absurdness of the non vampire parts and then trying to fit the vampires into that hurts the film tremendously.  Instead of showing us some type of connection between Jessica and Trish that would justify Trish wanting to turn her we get way too much of Jessica's mother whoring around and bikers and a lot of random things happening for the sake of happening. The Trish character and for that matter Destyne Marshai's acting skills were pretty much wasted in a movie that used the actual main characters as an afterthought.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5 only because the vampire casting is above average and when they are on screen something decent will happen but otherwise it just feels like a bad parody of a better movie.

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