Sunday, April 26, 2020

Vampiress Review: "Bullets, Fangs and Dinner at 8"

The Gist:  A vampire hunter is in a blood feud with a vampire who has infiltrated a church as an associate minister.

Female Vampire Factor:  There are a ton of them thrown at you in the films final act as you find out that basically the minister has a bunch of humans trapped in his garage being fed on by vampires. It's a montage style segment so none really get much screen time.
Outside of that you have a scene towards the beginning showing that he has human followers that dress like vampires that get ambushed in a nightclub by the vampire hunters.

Final Opinion: Looking at the cover and title I was expecting a comedy. Thing is this movie is entertainingly funny at times but not on purpose as it's supposed to be a deep horror/drama.  What I mean by deep horror/drama is the film literally starts with a church mass shooting.  In fact there is way too much shooting in this films first act with the first 20 minutes of the film being absolutely un-needed and being 100% skippable since it's unimportant to the plot. 

The second act is when you get to the entertainingly funny stuff as it's a bunch of people talking about how they need to kill each other instead of just doing it and when they (over) explain why they won't the explanations are just weird ("I just killed a nightclub full of people harboring vampires but if I kill this one vampire guy police might get involved because he's clergy" or "I know you know I'm a vampire but I'm going to go ahead and pretend I don't know even though we're literally in my house alone"). 

To explain above, the vampire associate minister and one of the members of the church who is also a vampire slayer absolutely know each others secrets so they just act super awkward to each other and somehow no one around them picks up on it.

The last act is when they remember "oh yeah this is a vampire movie".  This is when the Dinner Party in the title comes about and all the vampirism happens including pretty much everything in the Female Vampire Factor.  Intelligently pretty much the entire trailer comes from this portion.

I give this a Vampire Beauty Rating of  2 out of 5.  If  the first 2/3rds of the movie was like the last 3rd it'd be pretty good.  Even saying that the most hilariously absurd part of the film is the ending so watch at your own risk or just skip straight to the dinner party around 40 minutes in. If you start from there its a damn good movie since it's just a movie about a vampire leading a double life who's losing his mind. 

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