Sunday, March 29, 2020

Vampiress Review: "Mostly Dead: They Walk Among Us"

The Gist: Humans are hold up in a church while vampires are hunting them.

Female Vampire Factors:  Well... they exist
The problem as it were is not very good direction in the film so even though they are prevalent in the film don't expect to see much as you have situations like someone is revealed to be a vampire but they aren't looking at the camera to actually see the reveal.
or the scene is cut away so quickly that you see everything but that actual vampire attack.

The femme vamps that get the most screen time is a woman and a young girl who spend the entire movie hunting together.
but as mentioned the actual vamp scenes are so quick if I didn't freeze frame you'd not be able to see they actually do have fangs in this film.  On top of that, in spite of how much screen time they get, they have no real importants to the film.
The rest of the vampires in the film are revealed as if they're important but are limited to one or two scenes of just kind of talking about stuff that are spread so far apart you forget they exist.

Final Opinion:  This is one of those films where you can pretty much tell someone got a camcorder, got a bunch of people together and said "let's make a movie".  Then just wrote scenes for all the people to get some camera time but never thought to actually have a real plot to tie the scenes together.

That's right, this is a movie without an actual plot.  Stuff just kind of happens to people and then it ends with an ex machina where it's explained in dialogue that the vampires just disappeared.  If you watch the film twice you can kind of get where they attempted to have a story but important characters and plot points for the story to work are thrown in so matter of factly there's no way you'd realize any of it is important. Especially being that so many characters that have no bearing on the plot they eventually tried to have get way more screen time than those who ended up being important who got the background character treatment until it was decided they're important.  Thankfully instead of giving us a backstory on what started the vampire apocalypse or the priest helping people they did have a scene that acknowledges that some scenes it's spring time and some have snow (I'm not kidding).   

Basically here's what the film should have been based on the ending that was presented...

"A woman who was left a widow during a vampire apocalypse finds purpose via protecting a mentally challenged man.  They eventually seek refuge in a church full of other human survivors.  The woman then struggles with maintaining her faith as the vampires test her through manipulating her mind to put the other survivors in danger though through shear coincidence the mentally challenged man prevents her from succumbing to their attempts every time.  It's eventually revealed the mentally challenged man is really an angel sent down from God to protect her and the coincidences were not coincidences as the girl is the key to ending the vampire apocalypse and he was sent as her guardian angel to protect her"

Instead we got a cluster of scenes full of people introduced 5 minutes before they're killed off or introduced to never be seen again after their only scene breaking up the stories of characters who will eventually just get written off.  It could have been great but can't give it any more of a Vampire Beauty Rating than 2 out of 5.

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