Friday, March 10, 2017

Vampiress Review: "Marty Jenkins and the Vampire Bitches"

The Gist:  A down in the dumps video store employee must defend himself when his store is frequented by a group of female vampires.

Clarification:  This is one those films that would be considered a halfway decent youtube short film that is instead a feature length film that goes way too long while it looks for jokes that most of the time just aren't there.   It definitely falls into the category of "attempted comedy that tries a bit too  hard" which is somewhat disappointing because during the times it does get the comedy aspect correct it's actually very funny.

Selling Point: moderate enjoyment factor as long as you have a high tolerance for low budget amateur film plot cliche's like long drawn out scenes of people using expletives and unrealistic conflicts between people just for the sake of having conflicts in the film.

Female Vampire Factor:  That's an easy one.  Pretty much every female in the film is a vampire.   They fall into the category of stereotypical goth chicks and being that it's a goofy style comedy nothing really seductive about them (though there is brief full frontal nudity in the film).  There is one scene in which they are at least up front and center with fangs outside of the final confrontation which is the one in which they show a vampire hunter in Pittsburgh taking out a brood of them in one of the scenes which is actually pretty funny as they get the film parody aspect correct.
I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.  Check this film out if you have a high tolerance for stereotypical amateur film making but otherwise not much for those looking for a funny comedy, a scary horror or a film with a cast of sexy females front and center. 

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