Thursday, June 27, 2013

Vampiress Review: "We Are the Night"

The Gist: A pick pocketing street girl is targeted by a female vampire who wants her as her newest girlfriend.

Clarification:  A vampire love story that absolutely doesn't suck (no pun intended), We Are the Night can be best described as Twilight done right.  Made in Germany but dubbed in English (so there is a version with no subtitles) this film has the background love story but most important is that it is still meant to be a suspense/horror movie.  The vampires in this film are still monsters who kill people, enjoy it and are to be feared by humans (for the most part).    There is no part in this film that you will mistake for a slow moving soap opera and for that it has HEAVY rewatchability. 

Selling Point: In the world that this film takes place, male vampires don't exist because all the female vampires killed them for being dumb and emotional and there is a rule amongst the remaining vamps to never turn another man again (yes, this conversation does take place in the film, take that Edward Cullen!)

Female Vampire Factor:  As already explained all the vamps in the film are female and the main story background does involve lesbians but there is absolutely 0 smut factor in this film so if you're looking for "Seduction Cinema" style lesbian nudity you're barking up the wrong tree.  Also if you're a fang fetishist that is also very few and far between (though they DO have them) but it doesn't take away from the enjoyment factor of the film.  The main 4 female vamps are...

Nina Hoss (Louise)
Louise is the oldest vampire of the group and the leader.  She leads a very luxurious lifestyle which includes traveling the world looking for new women to become potential partners with.  She has a MAJOR thing for eyes and despite her complete disdain for monogamy is very loyal to the girls she turns. 

Jennifer Ulrich (Charlotte)
Charlotte is the oldest of Louise' underlings.  An actress during the silent film days of the 1920's She struggles with the party lifestyle of Louise as she gets older which often results in her seeming standoffish and unpredictable. 

Ann Fischer (Nora)
Nora is basically your "Alice Cullen".  Very quirky and happy go lucky, is the first to welcome Louise's newest recruit to the group and is always looking to have fun.  Her one downfall is she isn't exactly enthralled to the lifestyle change nor is she fully in control of her blood thirst which plays a factor during the later parts of the film.

Karoline Herfurth (Lena)
Lena is the delinquent who goes around pick pocketing people and getting in all sorts of trouble.  She pretty much wouldn't even be in the movie if it weren't for the fact that the officer who is after her also has a mad crush on her.  She meets Louise when she ends up at a club that Louise owns and attempts to pick pocket her.  Louise then does the bite first and explain what I did to you later routine which pretty much forces Lena to go along with it.  It also helps that Louise bribes her with expensive European sports cars and fancy dresses as well.  Only problem with the whole thing being that Lena isn't much of a lesbian and that she thinks the cop that follows her everywhere is attractive.  That is when we find out that Louise is a ridiculously jealous girlfriend in the unstoppable psycho murdering vampire sort of way.  

So you get a vampire coming of age story that ends up a "run for you life" horror towards the end.  With a high entertainment factor and a low T & A factor I give this film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 4 out of 5. I highly recommend it to anyone who has forgotten that vampires ARE monsters.   

Promotional stills


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