Vampiress Review: "Dracula Reborn"

The Gist:  A group of journalists trek around Europe trying to get inside information on a cult of vampires lead by Dracula.

Clarification:  Not to be confused with the other film of the same name I've previously reviewed, this one is pretty corny to say the least (not that the other one wasn't).  The bulk of the film is really skinny supermodel looking women smoking cigarettes while having conversations with one another and typing on computers.  When they're not doing that they're walking around either Paris or Transylvania.  When I say little else happens in the film, that is not an understatement at all. 

Vampires in the universe this film takes place in are real and it's well known that they exist and considered a menace.  The main vampire of the film would stand out like a sore thumb in society since he looks like a less deformed Nosferatu in a Dracula costume but much like Nosferatu he only moves around in the shadows.

Female Vampire Factor: There are female members of Dracula's cult but the cult members are never seen without their hooded cloaks when they attack in the film so you can't tell if they're male or female during those specific scenes. You only know about the female members toward the end during the many, many, many long scenes of people walking with nothing else happening.

  Other than that the only other female vampire in the film comes in the form of a video the journalists uncover from the deep web of a woman roaming the country side finding farm animals to feed on.

(SPOILER) As for the question of do the supermodel looking women get turned in the film.  The answer is we don't find out.  They do get captured and bitten by Dracula but the film literally just ends after the last one is captured.  Even though they're all taken back to the cult after they're bitten they didn't bother to fill us in as to what happens after they're captured.  Probably not enough time since the walking and smoking parts where much more important.  I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5.

Vampiress Review: "Shadowland"

The Gist: A female vampire is accidentally resurrected when her burial site is disturbed by a construction crew and she roams around modern St Louis not being able to speak or remember who or what she is.

Clarification:  Also known by the title "Twilight Hunters" this is one of those films that slowly unravels itself regarding what's going on and is really confusing if you don't know anything about it going in.   Mainly because the main character doesn't know what's going on either so if you didn't know the premise you're learning about it when she does.   Basically she's a woman who was seduced and turned by a vampire in the 1800's who was then staked and buried but once her body is found in modern times and the stake is taken out she is resurrected with very little memory and goes around town trying to find things she recognizes that jogs her memory.

The main conflict in the movie comes in the form of the local police department who for whatever reason has a city wide manhunt for her for shoplifting and assault on a homeless person who tried to rape her where they shoot at her a lot.  Basically made up conflict just to have it and pad run time since there's also a vampire hunter after her who sporadically appears before becoming important in the films final moments to tie up all the loose ends.

Female Vampire Factor:  So the main vampire in the film is played by Former Miss Teen USA contestant (Missouri) Caitlin McIntosh

Since she spends the bulk of the film with amnesia and apparently blood lust is a voluntary thing she's not very vampiric at all and basically comes off as just a homeless woman wandering around which makes the fact that the entire local police department and eventually a swat team are after her even more silly.  This is amplified by the fact that even when she remembers who she is she doesn't purposely harm anyone other than the vampire hunter who is her biggest threat.

The concept is great but isn't a very logical film.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5. If you like this film also check out the film She Lives By Night for a similar version of this story with a slightly better horror twist.  

The Vampiress Episode: "America's Next Top Model"

"America's Next Top Vampire"

Cycle 14

Episode 22

America's Next Top Model is a talent contest in which multiple women compete for a modeling contract by participating in different challenges that they are judged by.  The show has aired since 2003 and was created and executive produced by former supermodel Tyra Banks.  On top of the different challenges, the show also concentrates on the models lives outside the different activities and the ups and downs of having to live in a house together while competing with each other.  

In this episode the models saw themselves doing multiple challenges.  The first being participating in an improve class with the Upright Citizens Brigade, Then doing a CoverGirl ad which aired live in Time square but the namesake for this episode is the final challenge when they are asked to participate in a vampire themed photoshoot where they would be blind while doing it. 

This is definitely not my type of show and watching it I could only thing of Zoolander the entire time as they over analyzed everything about these poor young girls but I get that this is a reality television show and having to make it overdramatic for ratings purposes is a must.  Anyway your best photos are below.

Best Photo - Alasia

First runner up - Raina

Eliminated - Simone