Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Vampiress Review: "Dracula Reborn"

The Gist:  A realtors life is in danger when a vampire becomes obsessed with his wife.

Clarification:  So it's the same general Dracula story but told in modern day Los Angeles thus adding the thing most people were complaining about regarding the original Bram Stoker novel and that was hispanic gang members (ok not really).  Basically Vladimir Sarkany (aka Dracula) wants a building really bad.  He kills the first realtor for not being able to get the deal done (but the chick doesn't even know that you can use a key to open a car door instead of just the fob so she probably deserved it) and so the job goes to Jonathon Harker.

Harker is married to a british hotty named Lina who wants a family but for some reason he clams up when she reiterates this point to him after he tells her they might be coming into some big money.  His main excuse was that he doesn't think he could be a good husband (kinda of late for that since they're already married) or father. Is this important to the plot?....not really but the movie wants you to know this anyway.

Sad thing is he is 100% right about this fact.  When he brings the papers to Dracula's house for him to sign he notices a painting on the wall that looks exactly like his wife (it really doesn't but we'll just go with the movie and pretend it does).  Instead of getting freaked out about a strange guy having a painting of his wife on his wall he gets excited and starts showing Drac cell phone pics of his lady love basically just to show the stalker "here's where you can find her" and even goes on to say he should meet her.  Even after a guy sneaks into Harkers car and explains how Sarkany killed his wife Harker brushes it off and still brings Lina to meet him and apparently forgets about the crazy guys "he's a vampire and bit my wife" story even after they wake up and Lina has bite marks all over her and is really sick. 

Selling Point/Female Vampire Factor:  So this is basically one of those does she or doesn't she turn films so consider this a SPOILER (well because it is).

The object of Dracula's desire in this film is Lina Harker played by the lovely Victoria Summer
Now after her bite she falls ill and we go into watch mode with her as she develops sensitivity to sunlight and just becomes an all around introvert.  It all seems normal until Jonathan catches her eating the family dog.
Harker being the complete moron he is after this point isn't convinced anything is majorly wrong and asks Lina's doctor whether her virus has dog eating as a side effect (remember, he's already been warned about vampires so there's really no excuse at this point).  Eventually he starts to put two and two together with help and contacts Van Helsing (who he's referred to by the guy in his car from earlier) but by that point Sarkany already has Lina and the two go to save her.
Long story short, Drac kills Van Helsing and Lina and Jonathon kill Drac leaving a feeling of total disappointment until the films closing scene.
Lina has now taken over Sarkany's life and even lives in his old house.  I give this film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5.  Very good attempt at a modern Dracula film (and above average by straight to DVD standards) but the Standard barer in this genre is still Wes Cravens Dracula 2000.

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