Sunday, April 3, 2016

Vampiress Review: "VampireLand: The 6th Extinction"

The Gist: Following a woman who is living through the extinction of the human race as vampires take over.

Clarification:  Basically just take the movie "Dark Town" and make it really, really bad.  It's a low budget film that tries to look like a high budget film in the early going then brings itself back to the level it should of been.  The first parts of the movie are filled with really cheesy looking (video game looking) CGI as the world starts to be blown up by meteors and vampires are throwing tanks and cars.  Then the rest of the movie takes place in a house (as the  movie is based around one random woman trying to survive) where you find out the Vampires follow all the old European folklore customs so in reality shouldn't be that hard to kill (doesn't like crosses, can't cross running water, no garlic or sunlight, Has to count multiple things in front of them, has to be invited in to come into a house etc).  This makes the premise of the entire film make no sense since in European folklore because of those things vampires fed by infiltrating humans and louring them into a false sense of security, not an all out war that could be won by spreading garlic like napalm and then building a moat.  This is especially bad since (unlike Dark Town) the vampires can't pass as human.  They're all sheet white with skeleton socket black makeup around their eyes with fangs.  They do have human cultists that help them but not enough that "taking over the world" would be believable.

Basically for this film to work (especially for the lack of budget and cast) it should of been a film about the cult that wanted the vampires to take over with them succeeding being the finale. 

Selling Point: None

Female Vampire Factor: There's two main character vamps in the mistress of the home owner the main character hides out at who shows up in the house as a vampire to kill his family and she ends up turning his wife.  None of this is worth writing home about.
Then there's one who turns the main characters blind date which tuns him into the main vampire of the film but she disappears after this scene.
Outside of that this is an easy Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5.  Avoid this one and if you haven't seen Dark Town watch that instead. 

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