Saturday, March 19, 2022

Vampiress Review: "Club Vampire"

The Gist:  A stripper struggles with becoming a vampire while the vampires who accidently turned her are out to destroy her. Luckily for her one of them has feelings for her.

Female Vampire Factor:  The main protagonist if you can call her that in the film is Corri (Starr Andreef)

She is a single mom whose son does not respect her and does not approve of her lifestyle as a stripper (and apparently she's also an alcoholic).  She is accidentally turned when giving a lap dance at the strip club she works at to Laura who was there along with her brood mate Zero and loses control of her blood lust (Diana Frank) 

Problem is their brood leader Alko (Marrium Parris) 
has strict rules for their brood and turning someone without authorization breaks that so Zero is tasked with destroying Corri but instead chooses to take her in and show her how to function as a vampire. 

The Gist:  So this is a ridiculously cheesy fangless vampire film.  Actually I can't really call it fangless since there is a fang scene in it as one of the strippers dresses like a vampire

and Corri herself also does a vampiress stripper routine where she has fake fangs.
but the actual vampires when they feed use cutting tools and just end up becoming demon like after drinking blood but with no fangs. 
This is somewhat addressed as there is an entire dialogue of Corrie being super upset that if she's going to be stuck as a vampire why she can't have fangs since that would've been the only positive of it for her. 

I've seen others call this one of the worst vampire films ever made.  I personally wouldn't go that far, not because it's better than expected but because I've definitely seen worse. Though it is pretty bad I wouldn't call it unwatchable.  If it weren't for the nudity it would have definitely qualified for spoofing on Mystery Science Theater 3000 during it's time since it does qualify as laughably bad. I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5.  The story itself has potential though to the point that it's actually pretty entertaining when it was done as the plot of the skinamax film Embrace the Darkness 2 nearly 4 years later.  Marium Parris would go on to play a vampiress again in her short acting career on the daytime soap opera Port Charles

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