Tuesday, January 4, 2022

Vampiress Review: "Teenage Vampire (2021)"

The Gist: When an awkward teenage girl all of a sudden makes the cheerleading squad, her life dramatically changes when the other girls on the squad reveal they are vampires and now she must become one.  

Female Vampire Factor: Chase  (right) and her best friend Pam (left) are the main protagonists of the film. They decide during the beginning of the school year to not turn down any opportunities that year to prevent from being labled prudes and hopefully become popular.  The first invitation comes from the new cheerleading coach who invites them to try out. 

After the tryout Chase makes the team and Pam doesn't. Pam ends up getting offered a team manager position so she can be involved. The new mean girls in the school who also made the squad invite them both to a party at their place to celebrate.  

At the party the popular/mean girls isolate Chase.  The head cheerleader Sin then lets her know there is an initiation she has to go through.  That's when she informs Chase that they're all vampires and she needs to drink blood from a chalice to be one of them, which she does (even though she doesn't believe the vampire story but she wants to fit in).  The remainder of the movie has Chase becoming increasingly popular (as she's magically hot with her glasses off and makeup) while struggling to hold her vampire side back. 
Meanwhile the head cheerleader Sin spends the rest of the film trying to get Chase to leave her human friends behind to be loyal to the vampire cheerleader clique..
Which consists of Sin and her two background minions who follow her everywhere.
After Chase and her friends defeat the vampire cheerleaders they are concerned when Chase doesn't revert to being human again.  That's when the cheerleading coach reveals that she is the head vampire.
At the end of the film Chase and Page go back to their old life of being on the bowling team.  When some guys at the alley taunt them they reveal that they're both vampires (with Page being turned by Sin earlier in the film in an effort to get her to turn on Chase) hissing at the guys scaring at the point that they urinate themselves.

Final Opinion:  I can best describe this as a cross between the really good Halloween vampire episode of Smallville and the film Vamp U but with high schoolers or just an English language version of the Brazilian teen comedy "Chica Vampiro". Especially since it pretty much shares that shows main story of the girl turned vampire who is interested in a boy but deals with blood lust every time she gets close to him.  
I've always been a fan of the "Vampire fangs are an analogy for an erection" angle and this goes all in on that with Chase even having to basically hide and having to be taught to think about old people bowling to get them to retract.  I highly recommend this one.  It's cheesy but in a good way.  This is an easy Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5


  1. It was an interesting movie, but the odd part about it all, is that at one point in the movie, I am pretty sure, Chase is told by the head cheerleader..That because she had not drunk blood that she was not a full vampire yet so she could handle some silver sword or something..

    And I am also sure it was said/thought, that to turn back to human was to kill the coach which they did, but at the end of the movie they are still vampires..

    Not that I am complaining, as there are not very many movies where the vampires survive..

    So in all my guess is that at the end of the credits you see the head cheerleader thought to be dead, get back up smile and run off..

    1. I believe the Cheerleading coaches rant at the end of the film pretty much debunked the whole "killing the head vampire turns everyone else back to normal" theory as she says she killed her master with the weapon the trophy was made from yet was still a vampire.

      As far as the whole "having to feed to turn" thing Chase did have fangs prior to drinking blood so they could still be "half vampires" whatever that would be.

    2. With that maybe they say that to give some hope, only to have it taken away when they find it not to be true and are stuck that way..

  2. Here's a link to just the fang scenes from this great movie:


    And good news, IMDB says Teenage Vampire 2 is in pre-production!


    1. This is great info. Looking at the cast addresses the other persons question since it says Sin will be in the sequel so she presumably didn't die which is great since she was a fantastic character.

    2. Will be interesting what the story will be about, since it does not have Chase or her friend in it..

    3. And seems is funally on...