Sunday, January 13, 2019

Vampiress Review: "Valmont: The Movie"

The Gist: A girl enrolls in an exclusive private university in order to investigate the death of her brother who was last seen alive as a student there.

Clarification: Originating as a series of shorts on MTV Valemont follows a girl named Sophie.  Her brother was found dead and she questions what happened to him so she enrolled in Valemont, a private school for well off kids. 
Eventually after doing a ridiculously bad job of even seemingly hiding her intentions at the school to keep people from being suspicious to an annoying degree she finds out that Valemont is a school for vampires who are coming of age.  She then learns that vampires aren't made they're born, vampirism comes out once one hits a certain age and most importantly that her brother is alive, is a vampire and is very evil. 

Female Vampire Factor: Obviously if her brother is a vampire and vampirism is hereditary surprise, surprise that means good old Sophie (Kristen Hager) finds out she too is a vampire.
The red eyes are the best that you're going to get as far as the vampire look goes with Sophie.  Her brother Eric does try to temp her to drink from her best friend but it doesn't happen.
 While most of the people in the film are vampires only two actually show fangs.  One is Sophie's brother Eric and the other is their mother who Sophie thought had died but was alive and who they get their vampirism from.  Their reunion includes mom who has no control trying to feed on her daughter.
The reason that is explained for the lack of fangs in the film is that only vampires who have an addiction to human blood develop them and the kids of Valemont are not allowed to feed on humans.  Those who lose it to their blood lust are locked in a sanitarium on campus.  
I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5. The crazy vampires you never see outside of the above female seem like they would make a much better film.  As is this is pretty much just a young adult style drama with little horror elements to hang on.


  1. I don’t know if you’ll see this but the link for Blood River leads here I think it’s broken

    1. Should be fixed. Thanks for letting me know