Friday, December 21, 2018

Vampiress Review: "Search for Love Lost"

The Gist: Two guys search for a girl who is also being pursued by a vampire.

Clarification:  So the movie starts with you being told a story about a vampire who lost his lover in the most idiotic way possible (accidentally swinging her into a tree) and how that vampire has now found a reincarnated version who he wants introduced to. 
It then switches to two guys who are a parody of Wayne and Garth from the waaaaay dated Waynes World franchise talking about how "Barth's" girlfriend is missing and they need to find her (the woman discussed in both segments being the same female)
From there you just get random scenes of "Dwayne & Barth" talking to random half naked women in long drawn out scenes that really go nowhere about where she might be and one scene were "the count" hits on her in the most awkward way possible (as he had no issue finding her apparently).  

Selling Point: I think they were hoping having attractive women in bikini's or short dresses in most scenes would help make the film watchable.

Female Vampire Factor:  So the main female Heather is both a vampire in the beginning flashback and does get turned in the films finale as she bites Barths brother Art.  No fangs though. 

This movie is awful.  It gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5.  It's about 40 to 45 minutes long with most of it being conversations telling you about things that happened that probably should be played out on screen.  Then you have to tolerate the horrible "Wayne" impression (the Garth one is pretty dead on though but "Dwayne" gets most of the lines in the film.) Fact is the enjoyment factor would go way up if Dwayne was a regular original character who just said stupid things and not a really bad parody.  Then the final 15 minutes of the film is the closing credits which replays literally everyone in the film doing their one line just to give them a visual credit and bloopers to pad the run time to an hour.  It's almost funny level bad......ALMOST.

No comments:

Post a Comment