Saturday, December 8, 2018

Vampiress Review: "Minty: The Assassin"

The Gist: An evil doctor with the ability to manipulate peoples minds kidnaps the leader of a group of assassins and it is up to his top assassin to rescue him.

Clarification: Minty the Assassin is done in the style of a comic book story up to and including animated sequences very much in the style of Kill Bill Volumes 1 and 2.  In order to rescue the Big Boss, Minty has to fight her way through several comic book type hero's who are being mind controlled by Dr. Brain Bender to do his bidding. Minty is played by scream queen Elina Madison.

Selling Point: This is nothing more than fan service.   Basically its if you tried to make a movie out of a sex hotline commercial.  In fact Minty gets superpowers as well as sexual arousal from eating mint chocolate (hence the name).
In reality this film is the closest thing to a porn without being a porn that you can find but not in a bad way.  It tells you up front what it's all about so basically every scene being a sexually charged male fantasy should be expected.

Female Vampire Factor: While this is not a vampire movie there is a female vampire who is a prominent character in the movie in the form of former Go Daddy Girl Tabitha Taylor as "Double Delicious".
Delicious ends up being the final character that Minty has to get past in order to get to Dr. Brain Bender in the films finale even though the two are allies in the films beginning (she's being manipulated obviously).  I can only assume the nurse look is somewhat of an homage to Daryl Hannah's from Kill Bill as that's a running theme in this film (Including Minty having to fight a school girl in the film as well).  In what is expected at this point from the film Minty gets past Delicious via seducing her and letting herself get bitten to have a psychic bond with the Dr (she doesn't get turned).
Delicious only takes the nurse look once it's revealed she's under the doctors control.  Prior to that her vampire look is just a black two piece bathing suit with a cloak which is prominently featured in the films promo pictures.
I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 5 out of 5.  It's a sexy Kill Bill parody with a vampire and a film that somewhat parodies those who would be into the movie (Dr. Brain Benders motive ends up just being he was a comic book fan who just wanted to see Minty do sexy stuff.)

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