Monday, June 29, 2015

Vampiress Review: "Argento's Dracula 3D"

The Gist:  A Vampire Count sets his sites on the wife of the librarian he hired to work at his home.

Clarification:  Yep, Jonathon Harker is a Librarian now. So basically Dario Argento took the Dracula story, changed several aspects to where there were less characters (I guess less actors to pay) and replaced the lack of characters with horribly bad CG effects. 
Look out for the video game praying mantis
So this is pretty much Argento's attempt to "Hammer Horror" Dracula into his own character so to speak.  In this version he's an old school horror monster who pretty much just murders everyone in his path by turning into CG monsters like the Praying Mantis above which usually results in very bloody "B" movie graphic style gore

Selling Point:  I assume this would be much more interesting in 3D which the film was originally shot for.  Also there is quite a bit of female vampire nudity.

Female Vampire Factor: This version has two.  The first is the promiscuous village girl Tanja played by Miriam Giovanelli
Tanja is seen at the beginning of the film having sex with her boyfriend then refusing to hold on to his cross and walking home through the woods at night by herself.  Dracula ends up getting to her which is the first piece of action prior to the opening credits. From that point on her role becomes that of the female vamps used in the Hammer Horror's Dracula series where she lives in Dracula's castle masquerading as his "niece" to unsuspecting visitors but constantly plots to take Dracula's victims for herself.  This was a plus as Dracula's brides hardly ever get a backstory and this actually explains why Dracula is so easily upset with them (or this case her since she's the only one) for going after Harker.  As you can see above she's a blonde so I'm not quite sure why they thought to put a horribly fake looking blonde wig on her but at least her role is very clothing optional.

Next you have Lucy Kisslinger who is played by Dario Argento's daughter Asia Argento.
Now despite the fact that she is on the cover art of the DVD as a vampire she is only a vampire in the film for one scene.  Her role as Lucy follows the book for the most part where she is Mina's best friend who happens to get seduced and turned by Dracula first.  She then rises from her crypt, goes after a child and Van Helsing (played by Dracula Veteran Rutger Hauer) puts a stake to her when she comes back to her crypt with the child in hand.  If you've seen a Dracula movie before you know what scene I'm talking about since it's in most of them.  

So most reviews agree that the movie is pretty bad with some saying it's entertainingly bad while others just saying avoid it altogether.  If you're a fan of female vamps then this film does have some entertainment value as Tanja is a major character in the film but fact is the film is terrible.  As far as a Vampire Beauty Rating it gets a 4 out of 5 because they're their and they have purpose but not sure if sitting through the film is really worth it.

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