Saturday, September 8, 2018

Vampiress Review: "Van Dexter, Vampire Slayer Begins"

The Gist: The story of how an 8 year old became a vampire slayer.

Clarification: Have you ever watched "Tim and Eric's Awesome Show Great Job" on Adult Swim?  Well this film is that kind of weird.   A Vampire Slayer who is also an inventer has a kid with his wife.  When vampires come to attack the slayer they end up tricking him into thinking they want his kid but end up taking and murdering his wife instead.

8 Years later the kid grows up to become a vampire slayer himself and his first case is helping a woman whose teenage daughter is a vampire.

Female Vampire Factor: The crew who attack the inventer and his wife has one female vampire who seems to be the leader.
Then 8 year old Van Dexter fought a teenage vampire girl
There are no fangs in the film other than the end "twist" where you see some cheap novelty ones.  The film starts like a legit attempt at someone trying to make a film for the first time and then ended like a kids youtube film that they made after borrowing their parents camcorder.  It's very clear this is a guy and his family doing something for fun so I won't be too harsh on it though it gets a Vampire Beauty Rating of 1 out of 5 either way. 

I wouldn't even consider reviewing this on this site if it weren't for the fact that their is a legit scene where it's hinted that a grown woman was going to show an 8 year old her underwear and try to exchange sex for his services (but she ends up giving him spaghetti O's instead).
That scene was Dateline NBC cringe worthy to be honest.

No comments:

Post a Comment