Saturday, April 18, 2015

Vampiress Review: "Love Bites: The Reluctant Vampire"

The Gist: A vampire dormant for centuries is awakened in modern day New York to find his home occupied by a woman having life issues and together they attempt to restore his humanity.

Clarification: This is one of those "person in an awkward situation" comedies where the guy from a different century learns about modern day.  To be honest there are a ton of similarities between this film and the Tim Burton comedic remake of Dark Shadows that starred Johnny Depp from 2012.  In fact that movie is more of a remake of this one than it is of the dramatic Dark Shadows series it was named after (though this is the far superior of the two which doesn't say much).

Selling Point: As said above it is a more watchable version of what Tim Burton was attempting with his Dark Shadows movie.

Female Vampire Factor: When I say the stories between this and the failed Dark Shadows remake are similar I mean it.  With that said there's only one female vampire and she plays the part represented by Angelique in Dark Shadows.  In this case her name is Norissa.  She is the vampire who originally turned the lead vampire of the film Zachary Simms and she doesn't take too kindly to his new love interest Kindall Gordon helping him become human again so she joins up with Kindalls ex Dwight to help break the two apart.
 The bad news is Norissa does not have fangs (she explains in one biting scene that she actually does but they're "tiny"),  The good news is she rocks a sexy vampire secretary look (she works in politics now is the running joke) and is played by a young Michelle Forbes whose most recent claim to fame was as the sexy Maenad cougar Maryann Foster on True Blood.
Other than that bit of vamp trivia there isn't much else to say.  While it's better than the film that mimics it you'll find way better films in the vampire romantic comedy genre.  I give the film a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5.

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