Friday, May 15, 2015

Vampiress Review: "Transylvania Twist"

The Gist: An aspiring singer(Teri Copley) finds out her father has passed away and goes to Transylvania along with a vampire hunter and the nephew of a librarian for the funeral and will reading.

Clarification:  So this is a horror film parody.  Marissa (the aspiring singer) gets to Transylvania just to find out her uncle is a Dracula like vampire as is her "cousins" and their goal is to inherit the castle and specifically take possession of an evil book hidden in it but Marissa being the closest living relative is in their way.  Also in their way is the fact that the executor of the will is Victor Von Helsing - a vampire hunter. 
Basically the film is full of 80's horror movie references though the vampire portions are pretty much lifted from Hammer Horror's Dracula franchise.  Though a full on vampire film it does find a way to fit in parodies of nearly every horror movie monster of the 1980's like Freddie Krueger, Jason Vorhees, Leatherface and Pin Head.
The comedy in the film is pretty much based on breaking the 3rd wall with most jokes involving the characters recognizing the various horror movie cliches like the eerie music in various scenes, convenient thunder and lighting and jump scare tactics. Also Marissa's boyfriend Dexter (Steve Altman) breaks out into song partway through the film which is about breaking out into song.  The humor is funny for it's time but is very dated to audiences not familier with horror movies pre 1990 won't get it.

Selling Point: See Female Vampire Factor

Female Vampire Factor:  Since the film is a parody of Hammer Horrors Dracula films you get a few female vamps in the film.  Most of which are played by recognizable (by 1980's standards) scream queens.  One scene sees Von Helsing on a date with scream Queen and former Vampirella model Brinke Stevens
 Also you have the Brides of Dracula but in this case they're portrayed as Lord Orlocks daughters Pattie (Monique Gabrielle), Laverne (Vinette Cecelia) and Maxine (Toni Naples)
While two of them are barely scene Pattie (or Patricia as she prefers) is one of the main antagonists of the film thus gets lots of screen time as her goal is to sink her fangs into Von Helsing.  That's a major positive considering Gabrielle was a former Penthouse pet and super hot.
So basically every good vampire scene in the movie involves Gabrielle and she does eventually get her man.
In the end you have a very dated but still somewhat funny vampire parody that gives you quite a few things to look forward to.   I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 4 out of 5

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