Female vampires once ruled the world. Now they are overlooked for glittering guys with big hair. It's time to point out why the female of the species should be the center of attention.
The Gist: "I didn't do it" revolves around a twin brother and sister and their friends and aired for two seasons on The Disney Channel in the US from 2014 to 2015.
Female Vampire Factor: The Characters Jasmin and Lindy run into a strange man named Vlad who is trying to recruit people to give blood. Lindy is happy to do so but Jasmine turns the offer down when she sees the guy has fangs.
Lindy returns after giving blood light headed by Vlad. Jasmin notices that she has two marks on her neck and believes that Vlad bit her.
Jasmin shows up later to watch horror movies with Lindy who is now in all black and laying like a corpse on the couch.
Lindy then sprouts fangs and chases Jasmin around before eventually revealing that the whole thing was a prank.
Final Opinion: The vampire portion of this episode was great and Olivia Holt with fangs was a perfect payoff even if just as a prank. Problem is this was only a small portion of the episode with the other two plots ranging from weird to just hard to watch. I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 3 out of 5.
The Gist: An alien is turning all the people of a small town into vampire like creatures in an attempt to find a stone which would engulf the light of the sun and its up to a teenage boy to stop them.
Clarification: So basically a movie that wasn't that great when it was originally released in 1999 gets re-released with a new name and box art (complete with models who aren't even in the film) hoping to fool fans of the Twilight genre into watching it. This movie was made in Romania which pretty much explains why the town loves the sport of soccer so much but why an advanced alien race would fly millions of miles just to take over a high school soccer team is a real head scratcher. Then again if it worked for the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers for going on 3 decades now who's to question alien monsters obsession with Earth high schools.
Selling Point: According to the company that made it, apparently the models on the "Darkness" cover.
Female Vampire Factor: Well there's two which I guess is a positive but since this movie is pretty cheesy I don't know how much of a positive it is, especially since one of them, specifically Paula the public relations lady played by the actually pretty hot Romanian model Bianca Brad looks like an alien from an old episode of "Unsolved Mysteries" when she turns.
Someone needs to call the ghost of Robert Stack
As far as the other one goes in actuality the entire cheerleading squad of the school gets turned (by the soccer team who gets turned first) but since they're all just background fodder we get to only notice the head cheerleader played by Canadian actress Lindy Booth.
Lindy Booth does not look like this in this movie unfortunately
Now normally the idea of vampire cheerleaders is a great one but there is something just totally off about it here. Possible the frumpy 1980's look of the uniforms or the really weird fangs used in the film but there's pretty much nothing hot about this.
For that this film gets a vampire rating of 1 out of 5. You're pretty much better off just watching the first three seasons of The Vampire Diaries if you want some decent teenage vampires.
The Vamps Next Door is a web series produced by Phil Ramuno Productions in Los Angeles California. The show so far consists of 3 seasons which is split into several 2 or 3 minute episodes. In most episodes the recap from the week before plus opening and closing credits combined normally last longer than the show itself but that's what happens when you try to take what would be 1 half hour episode (counting commercials) of your average everyday sitcom and break it up into 5 to 7 separate episodes (though season 3 can be seen as one 20+ minute episode instead of the separate blocks).
The show revolves around the Tepes (pronounced Te-pish) family (the reason I have the pronunciation is because one of the running gags is people screwing it up). They consist of dad Walter, mom Beverly, and kids Kate and Jimmy plus Grandma Emma. The show comes off as a non gothic, yet vampiric version of the Adams Family with a bit of "Married with Children" thrown in.
- Walter is an IRS auditor who likes to control his co-workers through hypnosis but is frustrated because his deaf co-worker Dewey can't be controlled since she can't hear his commands. What makes matters worse is Dewey knows somethings up with him and is very suspicious.
- Beverly is the happy home maker who just wants to fit in with their neighborhood which means trying her best to keep the others at bay. Unfortunately it means she is the only one not to vamp out in the series which sucks since Rachel Beilit who plays Beverly ispretty damn hot at times. This is explained in season 1 when we're informed that she is the reason they don't feed on live humans. To support this lifestyle she is also the bread winner in the family as she steals blood from dead patients as a surgical assistant at a hospital.
- Jimmy is an adolescent trouble maker who despite how old he truly is still has the same problems a kid his actual age has such as bullying and fitting in.
- Grandma Emma is the stereotypical feisty old lady who doesn't act her age. She hits on any human male that comes anywhere near the house and has an obsession with black men. ESPECIALLY President Obama whom she makes no secret is a major target of both her affections and thirst.
Now we come to the actual reason this series is worthy of mention in this blog.
The stereotypical sex crazed hot teenage daughter ala "Kelly Bundy" from Married with Children or the less recognizable WB network knockoff "Tiffany Malloy" from Unhappily Ever After. The only thing she can ever think about is drinking the blood of her poor (Lucky) boyfriend Mike. In season 1 she gets very close but too many things go wrong. Luckily for her in Season 2 she gets a job at a blood bank (wearing a sexy nurse costume by the way) and talks him into donating daily until he has absolutely no blood flowing to his brain and babbles a lot (every ounce goes to her family to drink later as she's stealing it). Much like the two mentioned above, the goal of her character is to get gullible guys like myself to watch just to see her in short skirts and lingerie. She is also the vampire who fangs out the most in the series. For this character alone I would hope they could get a financial backer to help produce this show as a regular series (also this show makes good use of disabled actors which is almost unheard of in Hollywood which will be my non perverted reason for supporting it).
Here's season 1, episode 4 in which her boyfriend (as well as the viewing audience) gets to see her fangs for the first time.
And an extra scene from Season 2 in which she sinks her fangs into her therapist.
Season 4 introduced a slew of new vampires including a recasting of the character of Kate. For more on that check out my update HERE.
Like many web series the show is donation funded with more info available by clicking the show logo at the top of the blog. To see every episode of the series check out their official youtube channel at www.youtube.com/thevampsnextdoor .
Lindy returns after giving blood light headed by Vlad. Jasmin notices that she has two marks on her neck and believes that Vlad bit her.
Jasmin shows up later to watch horror movies with Lindy who is now in all black and laying like a corpse on the couch.
Lindy then sprouts fangs and chases Jasmin around before eventually revealing that the whole thing was a prank. 
