Vampiress Review: "Vamp Bikers"

 

The Gist: There are bikers and some of them are vampires and occasionally really crappy cops confront them. 

Female Vampire Factor: There are a bunch sporadically in the film.  The ones that get the most screen time tend to be related to flashbacks related to one particular vampire including the female vampires in the group that originally turned him.

A blind girl that he is in love with who is eventually turned (who is also the first to have a bite scene in the film).

and the vampires that originally turned her that include two females. 

 

Final Opinion: This is indy film A.D.D. at it's worst.  It comes off as an hour and a half of scenes that when put together do not create a story that can be followed whatsoever. No transitions, no main characters to follow just a bunch of vampire bikers randomly doing stuff with multiple nonsensical time jumps to the past of someone that's never given any real importance. This film is part one of a trilogy that I can only assume was all shot at once because in one of the nonsensical time jump scenes a joke is made about the priest in the movie looking like an actor from the third movie which I guess would be funny if it weren't for the fact that chronologically no one would have seen the third movie if it hasn't come out yet when this was released. I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5 as you do get some hot female vamps but none are main characters, it's clear their fang budget ran out by the end of the movie and there definitely isn't enough to justify watching this Frankenstein like collections of scenes they try to call a movie.

Vampiress Review: "Otaku Vampires"

The Gist: A guy starts college to be with his girlfriend just for her to leave him for a gothic woman.

Clarification:  So despite the films description talking about "army's of vampires" this is a film about young adult angst.  Nerdy young adult angst at that.  The bulk of the film deals with a bunch of socially awkward college students who are apart of an anime club being socially awkward to each other.  Stan who is the films protagonist is a gamer who is dragged into this club by his bubbly happy girlfriend Lora who is an anime lover.  On the way home from their first meeting she's confronted by Terra who is a vampire and they become close friends.  The more Lora hangs with Terra the more gothic she gets and the less she wants to be with Stan.  The rest of the film is basically Stan dealing with it along with the other gamers of the group who become close allies.

The film after an hour of nerd stuff does remember it's supposed to have a vampire storyline and eventually the members of the club that don't ally with Stan all become one.  Logically the film goes to hell at this point because all of a sudden it goes into this deep story about vampire folklore but it's not less nonsensicle than say aliens always attacking high schools kids on the Power Rangers.

Selling Point: One of those films that wouldn't be too bad with a ton of editing.  The film has an hour and forty seven minute run time where over half of that does not progress or deal with the plot whatsoever.  Also the film does have some funny points as it is somewhat a parody of itself and the character Stan is slightly self aware of how dumb the film is.

Female Vampire Factor:  You have two in the film.  The main one Terra (Christina Lambert) is barely seen in the film and the scenes she is in have a dark blue filter making it pretty hard to make out what's going on.

There is another goth like girl in the club named Willow (Caitlin Drance) who is a part of the group who gets turned toward the films last 40 minutes.

Finally you have the girlfriend Lora (Rachel Scott) who basically vamps out in a similar manor as Charlie Brewsters girlfriend Amy in the original Fright Night.

So basically a very low budget film that would still be likable if it weren't for the fact that the parts you can see are boring and the parts you can't see due to dark filters are the parts you'd want to see.  I give it a Vampire Beauty Rating of 2 out of 5. Great premise but bad execution.